DNA of Procrastination

What is the DNA of procrastination?  I feel as though if I could figure out the chemical imbalance that causes me to procrastinate some things and not others, I could defeat procrastination itself.  It's not directly proportional to the importance, convenience, or joy received when the task is completed.  For example, I've had a new hard drive for my laptop sitting in my living room for at least 3 weeks and I'm just now getting it replaced and running again.  It has been greatly inconvenient to not have my computer working for the last 6 weeks or so, but for some reason, I just couldn't get myself to complete that particular task.  (For the record, it only took about 10 minutes of hands-on time and now I'm just waiting for it to format.)
I suppose if I could "crack" procrastination, I'd be a rich woman.  Well, one more thing off my list!  Now, if only I could get my bike to the shop.

Tonight's Elephant Adventure

Every year, I want to see the elephant parade. And, every year, the elephants elude me. You see, each spring, the circus comes to town and the elephants get off the train and walk across town to the Verizon Center. It seems like either the parade is during the day or I hear about it the day after or the elephants are joined by a storm of cats and dogs or something. But, not this year! This year, I heard about it a few hours before the parade. So, I donned my running shoes on this gorgeous evening and headed down to capture my picture to prove I saw the pachyderms. But, when I got down near the beginning of the parade route, I realized that the elephants beat me there. So, I kept running. And, the elephants kept being a few blocks ahead of me. And, I kept running. And those elephants kept truckin'! After a 3-mile run, I did finally catch them.... as they were filing into the Verizon Center. I didn't even get a decent picture!

As Colleen suggested, perhaps the tradition is that I always "almost" get to see the elephants.

Excavating Hyla

Tonight, I went to a friend's birthday dinner and somewhat to my own surprise, had a great time. I've felt awkward at social events for a long time. But, tonight was great. To some extent, I was the life of the party and it felt good. I felt like I was back... the former version of me that has been hiding under awkward, sad, shell-shocked, and disappointed me. It felt so good to realize that I was the quick-witted, charming, self-confident version of me that I'd been missing for so long. And, it was good to just walk into a place without having to wipe my eyes, talk myself up, and take many deep breaths just to be able to face the room.

So, thank you. Thanks, Kim for having a birthday. Thanks, Raul for putting together the party. And, thanks to all the guys and girls sitting around me tonight who laughed at my jokes, riffed with me, and made my night fun.

I'm getting there... bit by bit... God is healing me, renewing the luster on my personality, and excavating my true soul.

Lone Friday Night

Do your emotions ever catch you by surprise? I spent this whole week tearing through work, keeping up with my school schedule and attempting to squeeze being a good friend in around the edges. I finally left work tonight at a decent time for the first time in a long time. I was so looking forward to spending the evening in my own apartment for once. So, you can imagine my surprise when I found myself welling up with tears halfway through dinner prep.

And, then all of a sudden, I realized that I was lonely. I finally allowed myself to be alone for the first time in about a week and had to face the fact that I am lonely. Of course, I'm not alone. I have incredible friends and a network of colleagues and family that would never allow me to say that. But, at the end of the day, I come home to my household.... and it's just me. I love living alone... I really do. Yet, I find myself wishing that I knew someone else would be coming home later.

But, for now, I need to find the green grass on this side of the fence. So, off to do finance and forget about it for a while!

Something I love

The way sailboats look when the setting sun is shining on them

Haboob!

What an awesome new word! Haboob! Who doesn't want to say "Haboob"? Apparently, it's a dust storm that occurs in the desert. Haboob! Haboob!

Dear devil

You should check and make sure you don't have any icicles forming. Both the Nationals and Pirates have records above 500.

ummm... Sheraton marketing department??

Just saw this on a banner ad for Sheraton:

"Enjoy free breakfast & more on our Club Floor"

Um, really? Perhaps Sheraton could use a few more ad editors?

Independence Day Musing

I have this big, lovely looking watermelon sitting on my counter just waiting to be cut up and enjoyed by me. The problem? I don't want to cut it. I would like to ask a boy to cut it for me. It's not that I "can't" cut it. I could do it perfectly well... perhaps even better than the would-be male watermelon cutter. I just don't want to... I would like to have a watermelon cutter and meat griller. Sometimes I'd be happy to cut the watermelon and grill the meat, but then other times, it would be great to have someone else happy to do those things as well.

So, new requirement: Mr. Perfect must be willing to be part-time watermelon cutter and meat griller.

PS - This is why I usually spend ridiculous amounts of money on cut-up watermelon rather than buying a whole one for the same price or less. :)

Survival of the Fitter

(Fitter, as in more in shape than before; not as in a pipe fitter... just in case the image reminded you of Rosie the Riveter and confused you.)

Yesterday was a momentous day. I completed the Celebration Sprint Triathlon in Columbia, MD. After .62 miles of swimming, 17.5 miles of biking, and 3.4 miles of running, I did not die, did not collapse, yea did not even feel faint, nauseous, etc. And, I wasn't last... or next to last or even next to next to last. Victory, I say! Victory in the battle against a sedentary lifestyle. Victory in the battle against being overweight. Victory in the battle to be comfortable in my own body.

I've spent my entire life battling these things. I've been overweight since Elementary School and have felt bad about it for most of that time as well. (I did finally experience a breakthrough in my body image a few years ago before I started losing weight, but that's for another post.) Probably more importantly, though, is that I have never felt completely comfortable wielding my own body. I never really learned to test and push and manipulate my body the way that many people do as they grow up. I didn't learn to push the limits in sports or to move with beauty in dance or even to exude confidence in my everyday stride. All of that to say that any little physical (yea, even athletic ?! gasp!) accomplishment is a huge step for me. In this area, the last year has been incredible. Just under a year ago, I posted that I ran 1.76 miles without stopping for the first time and I was SO excited. So, the fact that I've been able to go from that to a Sprint Tri in a year is pretty good. I am slower than molasses in January in all three events, but I don't care. (ok, fine, I care a little bit, but oh well)

And today, I feel good. I feel really good about my accomplishment, about how I am more aware of the way(s) my body moves through space, about the fact that I am healthy. (I also feel like a little bit of a bad ass with my race number plastered all over me.... lol)

So, thanks everyone for being so super supportive of me! It means the absolute world to me and I can't wait until I can support you in endeavors that are as meaningful to you!

Cat Saga Update

You can all rest well tonight. The cat seems to have been removed from the building. The blanket and bowl have been removed. Hyla is no longer freaking out.

Just thought you'd want to know.

CAT!

Oh. my. god. There is a cat in my building. Let me rephrase. A cat moved into our building. My hallway... right in front of my freaking door! And... someone put out a freaking blanket and bowl of water. Seriously!!?? Ok, so I am not a lover of cats, in general. But, I am REALLY not a lover of stray cats that just might have a disease or try to run into my apartment at any given moment. I do NOT want to have to sneak into my apartment as quickly as possible because someone feels it is ok to let a cat have squatting rights!! ACK!! I just sent the landlord an email. Hopefully, he replies quickly.

I'll keep you updated.

Good Stuff from 2010

(Yes, I realize I'm late.)

So, 2010 certainly had its share of hard, bad things, but I'm choosing this moment to focus on the good stuff of the year. So, here are my top ten experiences, accomplishments, etc of the past year.

(in no particular order)

1. I finished the first year of my MBA at Mason. This means that I survived accounting, statistics, economics and several other courses that I never imagined myself participating in, learned lots of new vocabulary words, and had lots of weekends confined to academic pursuits. But, I've learned a lot and look forward to learning a lot more.

2. States 43 and 44. In my pursuit of visiting all 50 states, I've added Kansas and Vermont to my list. Vermont was lovely in all of its colorful October New England-ness and Kansas was... well, it was good to visit good friends there, at least. Just 6 to go! whoo-hoo!

3. Sebastian came to live among us. Colleen and Nathaniel had a little baby so that the rest of us can live vicariously through them without all of the responsibility and expense. Wait, that's not what I meant... I meant Sebastian is adorable and it's been fun adding him to our lives.

4. I ran 5 miles! In the last few years, I've gone from girl scared of physical activity to girl determined to be active regardless of how clumsy it might be. During Thanksgiving weekend, I ran a 5 mile race near my parents home in PA... in the snow. I did not die. I did finish. And, I was not last. All good things in my book. (Coming in 2011: a sprint tri)

5. I bought a car. A bittersweet experience at best, but it is paid for and, well, it's really nice to have it now that I do.

6. In work news: We opened a new performing arts center, the Hylton Center. This means that the lives of everyone on the marketing team are now crazy all the time. It also means that there continue to be new challenges and opportunities, which I definitely need.

7. People are Awesome! I got to spend a lot of time with family and friends this year. In some ways, I had less time for this due to classes, but I think it made me value it more. I had a few great visits with family over the year. And, perhaps even more, I am so grateful for the deep and lasting friendships I have with people here and across the country. (Yeah, Robin, Colleen, Lisa, Jeremy, Chris, Amy.... I'm lookin' at you!)

8. People got Married. No, not me. But, I'm happy for the others. :) Dan, Jill, Kim & Raul, Meredith... all hitched. And even more got engaged. 2011 looks to be another year rife with weddings. Yay!

9. Artsy Highlights. I seemed to have less time for performances this year, but I did take in a few concerts, plays, and the like. Three highlights were Lang Lang with Christoph Eschenbach conducting, a jazz concert featuring Allen Toussaint (amazing!), and a small coffeehouse performance by my deeply loved friend, Genevieve. (I've decided that she will sing at my wedding. I have not told her this yet.)

10. Lake Powell. Part of my family spent a few days after Christmas on a houseboat at Lake Powell. It was so gorgeous and the time there disconnected from the world (no phone, no internet) was invaluable. Big thanks to Caryl for making this happen!

My "Soap"box

I am totally and completely in love with Soap.com. To be honest, it's a pretty simple concept - a website that sells drugstore/Target kind of stuff and then delivers it. Not earthshattering. It's not even the best deal... the prices are more than you'd pay at Target probably, but likely less than CVS. There are often coupons and special offers for 15% off, etc so I think it evens out. The thing that is awesome, though, is that all orders over $25 ship for free... OVERNIGHT! Yup, my shampoo and tissues and batteries and laundry detergent arrive the next day...via FedEx. Let's be honest. That's faster than Hyla's even going to get to Target. Plus, it eliminates my ability to throw clothes and shoes and cute dishes into the cart.

If you want to try it, use this code and get a discount (and a perk for me, too!): JUST428866

Retraction

I retract my former belief. Or, rather lack of belief... in baths. I thought they were overrated, a waste of time and kind of gross. However, it turns out that I was completely wrong.

Here I was, living in this apartment for nearly two years and I just took advantage of my tub with jets for the first time tonight. Foolish, foolish girl was I!! It was awesome. Like a movie bath. I was covered in bubbles up to my chin.

Yes, I confess. I've been a bath-hating fool. But, I'm turning from my errant ways. I repent. From now on, I am a bath-lover! Full of bubbles and hope. Yippeeeeee!

A reflection

I just got back a few days ago from a great visit with my family in Arizona that included a few days on a boat on Lake Powell. This gorgeous place on the border of Arizona and Utah had amazing views of rocks during the day and unbelievable starry skies at night. It was so good to just sit back and decompress, enjoy each other, and well... be inspired. Here are a couple of my favorite pictures and a poem I wrote while I was there. (The poem is a little rough, but I wanted to share anyway.)

Shades of Remembrance

Run up on shore

Rocks all around

Crisis or Opportunity

Captivity or Freedom

The sun falls on the rocks in gorgeous shades of remembrance

The reflections sparkle against the water demanding stillness to properly reflect their beauty

The shadows dance between crags

I look at the rocks, the barrenness, the difficulty, but all I see is beauty

I want to sit and stare, soak in the majesty until the sun demands a rest

This is not a posh overnight beauty of abundance

This is the beauty of generations

She who sits still, watching, will be rewarded

Shadows shift. New colors emerge. Shapes are revealed.

She could stare for a lifetime

Once Upon a Barstool

Once upon a time, I moved into a new apartment with a counter/bar that needed some barstools. I got this great vision for the space that involved some awesome green leather barstools. Once or twice, I gained a glimpse of the perfect barstool. After those first few glimpses, though, I never saw it again. But, I didn't give up hope. I kept seeking my ideal stool with its sleek shape, minimal footprint, funky green color, and uncommon height. I visited several specialty stores, looked at the Big Box stores, even tried to custom-order something. I scoured the internet trying to find the stool that by now I was afraid I had created in my design-friendly imagination. Eventually, I started thinking that perhaps my perfect barstool didn't exist.... that I may have to give up one or more characteristics I previously thought were mandatory...that I missed my chance for barstool happiness. I considered fabric rather than leather, legs rather than a pedestal, even trolled Craigslist for something used that I could recover. But, nothing seemed quite right. I always found something wrong with each one.

One day, I was looking once again at the Big Box and something caught my eye. It didn't meet all of my wishes or demands or requirements, but maybe this stool would be good enough. I kept walking that morning, but that evening when I sat down to eat my bowl of pasta with red sauce on my nearly-white couch, I realized it was time to give in. I carefully finished my potentially stainmaking dinner and then went directly back to pick up two barstools. They're not everything I wanted or thought I needed, but they're not bad. They look pretty good there and now I can actually sit at my counter to work or eat like a grown-up.

Perhaps if I ever see that perfect barstool again, I will feel a twinge of regret. But, I'll probably just keep walking, knowing that I have all I need in the barstools I have at home.

Dear SOVA

I absolutely adore your living room-style upstairs. I love sitting at the little tables in somewhat uncomfortable chairs staring out at the still somewhat gritty block of H street. I do NOT love your lattes.

Thursday Thoughts

• I do NOT love Thursdays. Nor do I love mornings.
• Overheard from a teenager at the gym: "I think your hair is peanut butter color" Awesome. We should use foods as color descriptors more often.
• Today's awesome surprise: My favorite instructor was teaching kickboxing today. Yay for getting my sweat on!
• I am down both an Amy and a Robin. Sad face. (Good for homework accomplishment, though!)

A post from Hyla the kid

I went through a bunch of my old stuff that was in my parents' attic today. I've always prized my writing and so some very old English projects were left in there. And so, today's blog comes from Hyla of yesteryear. Hope you laugh and smile as much as I did!

From 3rd or 4th grade (spelling errors left in):

• I think that I would enjoy (water) skiing because I love being in the water and I sure wouldn't mind falling accidently!
• I prefer comedey and adventure stories more than the usual sit-down stand-up books. I only read those kinds of books through my eyelids.
• Outside of the United States, I would love to go to France. I love French food, so I would just have to go to restaurants everyday. I would probably go on a huge shopping spree for clothing. The rest of the time I'd just spend being lazy.
• After school, I am actually a very boring person. I sit around and talk to my Mom, practice music, (not very much, but some) and eat, eat, eat!

From Junior High:

• (In response to the question, Do you wish you were someone else? If so, who and why?) If I was someone else, I would be Candace Cameron. I would be Candace because she is not only pretty but also intelligent. She also has a lot of fun filming shows....

From sometime around age 12?:

• (About my future) I want to go to college.... My major will be music, possibly minoring in drama. After receiving my bachelor's degree, I may go on to get my master's. I hope to someday teach piano lessons and hopefully get married. I would love to someday live in New Hampshire or Vermont.

(Ok, I can't not comment on this. First of all, how could my parents not have seen my fettish for degree-collecting coming? And, Vermont or New Hampshire??? I had never been in either of those places and have NO idea why I would have been enchanted with them. In another place, I said I wanted to live in Vermont. Handily, I'm going to VT for the first time this week. Perhaps, it will confirm my childhood desire.)