Celebrate the Mattress! (GJF, Vol. 13)

We hear case after case and they tend to run together. Often, we'll refer to a case by the one memorable nugget, an identifying feature: the one with with the brick or the one with the Bobbi Brown lipgloss, something like that. Today, though, we got the best nugget yet.
A witness came in to tell us about an altercation he had. He was a rather confused older man who seemed to have a childlike mentality, for whatever reason. Anyways, he mentioned early on that he had a mattress delivered the day of the altercation. The attorney later asked him if he had any alcohol that day. He responded, "Yeah, I had 3 beers.... I had to celebrate the mattress!" We all chuckled... how awesome is that! Celebrating the mattress. You go! You celebrate that mattress! Carpe Diem, man!
Later, though, I couldn't help but think that perhaps we could all use a little more mattress celebration. We take so much for granted and have such a sense of necessity (and truthfully, entitlement) that we rarely take time to really soak in the little stuff. But, this guy... he was celebrating his mattress. I don't know why it was important to celebrate it. Maybe he was sleeping on the floor. Maybe he saved up for it. I don't know, but I do know that he found it celebration-worthy... and beer-worthy.
Tonight, on your way home, notice the little things. And, celebrate them! Maybe it's just a little smile or a silent "Thanks, God" or a diet coke toast to that great pair of earrings you found on sale for 75% off. It doesn't really matter what your "mattress" is, celebrate your mattress!

Overheard in Georgetown

"I didn't realize that it wasn't a state. I thought New England was a state up there by New Hampshire." Wow... wow, wow.

Also, there was an adorable, swedish-looking family on the bus tonight with two little kids. They both had "Mom cell 202.202.2022" written on their arm. Hysterical. And, smart!

GJF, Vol. 12

Have I mentioned that our foreperson resembles Bill Cosby?

GJF, Vol. 11

It's late. I'm tired. So, this will be short. The lady formerly known as Circus Lady will now be known as Ms. "Have a conversation with the witness rather than just ask a question". Seriously. The jurors are getting restless. If we had more than 1.5 weeks left, there might be a brawl.

In other news, cute blonde girl tried on her wedding dress yesterday. It made her sister cry. Aww.

Candace and I bonded over kohlrabi.

Vote for Jonathan

My esteemed friend, Jonathan, has been nominated for hottest media type on a DC media blog. The voting is going on now and goes until Monday! So, get your virtual self over there and vote for Jonathan.
And, pass it on!

Update: At last count, "J-Shray" was in the lead!

Today's score

Not finding lost phone: minus 2
Feeling crappy from remnants of cold: minus 1
Trick hip acting up: minus 1
Sweet email from boy: plus 3
A very clean kitchen: plus 2

That's a score of plus 1 -- not too bad, I guess.

PS - the grand jury natives are getting restless... personalities are starting to clash... more on that later

A little cold to go with that, please

I have a crappy, crappy cold. I stayed home yesterday, but today, I went in to the office for the afternoon and then to church. I'm worn out now.
Church was good, though. Here's what my mind is trying to wrap around at the moment: "Wishing everyone else would worship you is a product of pride." Ouch. I've actually said that out loud about men. Well, more precisely, "I secretly want all men (esp. my exes) to adore me." If it's not about me, which it's not, then I have to get rid of this. I don't know that it's wrong to want people to like you, but I may be crossing the line here.... big time.
Ouch.

GJF, Vol. 10

Well, it's starting to really catch up with me. I am officially behind at work and to top it off I came down with a cold. Jury duty has been really busy so I haven't gotten much done during the day. And, because I'm feeling a little under the weather, I haven't been going into the office in the evening...a recipe for getting behind, for sure. I can only do what I can do, though.

Today, I made good on my promise to buy TJ a Tendercrisp. She was happy as a clam. It's the little things.

Today's vocabulary word: voyeurism

GJF, Vol. 9

Today was that fateful day. I had hoped it wouldn't arrive, but it did. I lost the Tendercrisp bet. Last week, there was a false alarm, but today I officially lost. Let me explain.
TJ (who sits next to me) eats a Tendercrisp sandwich from Burger King nearly every day. There is another individual on our jury who asks a question of nearly every witness we hear. Sometimes this person's questions are relevant, sometimes not. One day last week, TJ noticed that it really started to annoy me. So, the birth of the bet. I bet her a Tendercrisp sandwich that we couldn't get through one witness' testimony without that individual asking a question.
Last Friday, we heard a witness and she left the room without our friend Mr. Inappropriate Question asking anything. TJ jumped up and declared that she had won a Tendercrisp. But, then the witness was called back and Mr. I.Q. asked something. Decision overturned!
Today, though, we got through a witness without him asking anything. So, I officially owe TJ a Tendercrisp sandwich. So much for that bet. I'll have to come up with a new game to keep me occupied.

GJF, Vol. 8

Tired. So very very tired. I don't wanna anymore. My brain is totally spent. So just one indulgence:
TJ (young, extroverted, sensationalist girl): Yeah, I weigh 130! Weigh me.
Aiesha (pretty 30-something mother and professional): 130? No way! I weigh that.
TJ: Yup. 130.
Candace (40-something reserved woman and all around cool chick): And, it's all in your lip.

Go Candace!

GJF, Vol. 7

Today was one of those days where our down time between cases wasn't really sufficient to get a lot of work done. Translation: I got lots of anecdotes from my fellow jurors. I won't bore you with everything (nor will I be able to remember it right now), but here are a few bits of today.
- After 9 days of jury duty, I nominate Maria as most interesting person. She may not prove to be the most interesting person, but she certainly has entertaining stories.
- The circus lady told yet another animal story that was actually a metaphor. Let's call them fables...Maria's fables. Maria's fables always teach something about human nature and behavior through the behavior and instinct of animals. I actually don't remember the story she told, but I do remember saying, "Everything comes back to the circus. Maria, you should write a book about your life and call it 'Everything I needed to know, I learned in the circus.'"
- She also told us about some custom t-shirts she had made once. She is black and told us about how she used to tease her hair way out. She had a t-shirt made that said, "Happy to be Nappy". But, my personal favorite was (in small writing) itty bitty titty club. But, apparently, her chest got larger when she hit about 30 or so. To compensate, she had "Reformed Member" added to the back of the shirt!
- The timing award goes to Candace for making me laugh the hardest all day. Unfortunately, I don't remember at all what she said -- something about a lawyer, I think, but I definitely don't remember.
- The blond showed me her wedding dress online. She was so cute and so excited to show me. She wanted to show me her sister's bridesmaid's dress, too, but she couldn't find it quickly. I think I'm back in her good graces, which is good cuz we sit just down the row from each other. Honestly, I'm jealous of her b/c she gets to talk to Candace all day. I want to talk to Candace. I want Candace to be my friend because she just seems so cool. (I am so 12.)
- I also found out that another girl on our jury met her husband when he had her paged in her dorm at college. Really? That stuff works? Well, she said that it actually didn't work and she blew him off, but they ended up working together at the library. Yeah, that's where the romance is... in the books.
- Finally, my law phrase of the day: "intent to frighten"

GJF, Vol. 6, No. 2

Today was rough. Not only were we in "court" (I put that in quotes because we don't actually meet at the courthouse, but I guess that technically we are in court.) until just after 5pm again, but the cases were heavy -- the kind of thing that weighs on your spirit a little. On a brighter note, I got to have lunch with Nathaniel! That was nice. I don't get a lot of 1-on-1 time with "Thanny" so that was a nice treat. yay. K - I need sleep.
bye bye

GJF, Vol. 6

I forgot to add an anecdote last week. This is from the same woman that rode the elephant:
When she was 11 years old (11!), her mom used to dress her up and put make-up on her (always red lipstick) and then drive to the club. The mom would go in and have a good time -- drink, dance, whatever -- and then come out to the car and wake up the sleeping 11-year old girl to drive her home. She made the 11-year old drive the mom home! Apparently, she thought that the red lipstick would make her look older, in case the police stopped her. I have a feeling this woman could write a book about her life! The funny thing is that when she tells these stories, they aren't sensational. They're just factual... this is what I did. This was my life.

Also, we had our landmark "baby mama" case today. And there were multiple baby mamas in it so I feel like that made up for the lack of baby mamas last week.

GJF, Vol. 5

Today's Theme:

Sometimes people do stupid shit.

GJF, Vol. 4

Well, one week down. Four to go. Some final observations before I sink into weekend mode (which in this case means work, cleaning, studying, work and hopefully a little sleep).

I've learned about things I never really wanted to learn about. Just a few weeks ago, I had a conversation with one of my friends about how I wouldn't even know where to buy illegal drugs if I wanted them. Now, I know way too many places to buy all sorts of substances. And, give me a few more days and I may even know what to call them without sounding like the naive girl I am.

I also had an interesting thought. All of our cases are US vs. John Doe. I think (though I'm not certain) that this is because we're in DC and we're not a state. I think that in a different place, the same case would be called The State of X vs. John Doe. I think... maybe. I also learned that in states, they can get other documents that stand in as grand jury indictments. I don't know exactly how that works, but I sense that there is some impact made from the fact that DC isn't a state. We'll see if I gain any further insight into that.

GJF, Vol.3

My knowledge is expanding:
Exhibit 1: gaitherizing - the official voting process with indictment in writing in front of the grand jury -- named after the case that made it necessary (I think)

Exhibit 2: assault can be defined as offensive touch.... interesting

Exhibit 3: I know have very clear understandings of prosecutor, defendent, misdemeanor, felony and sundry other legal words

Exhibit 4: Apparently no one but police officers can carry guns in the district? I'm still figuring this one out. I'm having constitutional un-clarity about this one.

Exhibit 5: Body parts and repetitive syllables and animal names are popular street names.

Exhibit 6: I HATE Rapid Indictment Processing (RIP). It's what they do to get an indictment on a pretty open and shut case. They go very fast and are, well, quite frankly, kind of boring (although alarmingly educational).

GJF, Vol. 2

Though I've only been showing up for jury duty for two days, I've already gained a great appreciation for my work environment. I've been in the arts community long enough that I forgot that other industries don't put nearly as much emphasis on aesthetic pleasure. This is the comparison to be made when arts professionals say they have a really great work environment. For jury duty, we report each day to a large building with security where we scan in and out of our appropriate areas. Once behind the locked door, it's a journey through a world of beige. Everywhere, beige... and not pretty, fresh beige (if there is such a thing), but a dingy, kind of beat-up world of beige. The facilities are pretty beat up and more than outdated. Chipped tables, broken witness box doors and holes in the partition under our desk/table. No decor anywhere. Not even any dc propaganda... nothing. So sad. I want to bring in a big plant or something just to make it feel a little more livable. Anyways, so things like that have reminded me of all the great things about my job:

• Although there are no windows, it's a pretty decent looking office. (And, now I realize how important it is to get it "fixed up" again... it's looking a little ragged.)
• I don't have to go to work until 10.
• I can eat, drink and go on break whenever I want to. No waiting for "permission" to step away.
  
• Very little beauracracy.
• I get to work on something that attempts to better people's lives in a creative way.
• I get to be creative and I have a lot of freedom to use that creativity to better the organization.
  
• I haven't been bored in 15 months.
• I don't have to go to work until 10. (Have I mentioned that?)
• I get 4 weeks off plus holidays (like today!!).
• The people I work with are all intelligent, decent, caring humans. That's nice, too.

One more: a woman on the jury was in the circus once. She rode on the neck of a lion and laid on the ground while bears walked over her (or was it lions... lions maybe). The funny thing is that she ended up doing it b/c she worked with this guy whose sister was recovering from a concussion due to a lion stepping on her head. The girl was going to lose her position in the circus unless she could find someone to take her place until she recovered. So, her brother brought the costume to work and paid my fellow juror $20 just to try on the sequined, glittery thing. It fit her like a glove and she flew from CA to Baltimore that weekend to, well, run away with the circus.

Apartment with a bonus

I just watched the fireworks from my bedroom. Sweet. I guess there are a few things I'll miss about DC.

GJF, Vol. 1

Welcome to the first edition of the Grand Jury Files. For the next five weeks, expect to hear about lessons learned, observations made and my usual rant of the absurd as observed from this Grand Jury Member. Of course, the content of the grand juries themselves are secret so I won't be sharing any of that (get off my back, big brother), but this extrovert needs a release valve of sorts so I will write about a bit of my experience from the back row of the jury room (Thanks to Nathaniel for advising me to claim a spot there where the outlets live.) I didn't write yesterday b/c I ended up going to a play and got home very late and now I feel like I have a backlog of blogworthy stuff. I will try to save some for tomorrow (it's our day off), but excuse me if this is a bit lengthy.
Yesterday was an amazing day of people-watching. Grand jury is a very interesting thing in that it throws 23 people together in a room that would most likely never meet otherwise. Young, middle-aged, old, white, black, straight, gay, professional, blue-collar, DC natives and recent transplants. We are a motley crew of sorts. And, if that doesn't create enough to observe, we are all strangers adapting to this new situation in our own way. Some came in mouth-first, some haven't said a word in two days. Some cordially introduce themselves to those around them, treating it almost as an extended networking event. Some immediately draw themselves to others that look like them. One even decided that we should all introduce ourselves. (I'm kind of hoping that she doesn't decide we should do an icebreaker later. I'm also trying to prevent myself from being that person.) It was fascinating to watch the dynamics as we chose leaders, learned about the process and got settled in.
It is also an interesting angle from which to view my own persona. When we were selecting the four people that would have leadership roles on the jury, I had to practically sit on my hand to keep from volunteering. I hate not being active in any process, but I know that I need to be working every minute we're not hearing cases... or situations as our Sargaent of Arms so tenderly calls them. "Be sure to be back by 11:00. That's when we'll be hearing the next situation." I want to be friendly with my fellow jurors, but I will admit to being a bit stand-off-ish when the cute blonde with a sizable solitaire on her ring finger attempted to strike up a conversation with me about shopping. I like shopping. I do. I just don't find it necessary to buy clothing for jury duty. It's ok preppy, stylish girl... I promise to be nicer next time. Just give me a second chance.
Well, I think that's enough for volume one. More insights and lessons learned tomorrow.

PS

I just put up some new pics on flickr

What's happening to me?

Do you ever remember waking up as a twelve-year old and thinking, "What in the heck is happening to me? I'm changing in ways that I'm not entirely comfortable with." Ok, me neither... but those are the stories you always hear. Well, I feel like I'm having one of those experiences. After two years of living practically under the shadow of the Capitol and doing everything I can to remain as far away from it as possible, I find myself strangely interested in surprising topics. From the day I set foot in the District as a resident, I had a passion invoked in me for DC voting rights, but I haven't done much to become active on the issue. Sure, I read the occasional article-let in Express or educate a particularly talkative tourist on the metro, but that's about it. I have some confessions, though. I don't know what the technical definition of environmentalist is, but I think I might be one. I admit it. All those plastic bags from Safeway make my skin crawl and I feel guilty when I have to throw away a bottle. I pride myself in not having to own a car, emitting less carbon than the average American and not owning a lot of stuff. I even feel a moderate level of discontent with Corporate America. I'm not quite as anti-consumerist as the freegans, but it bothers me when I end up buying stuff I don't need.
I also feel strange pangs of what I would have to describe as, well, I think they must be opinions!! I've recently gained an interest in immigration. I try my best to avoid the constant stream of politically riddled "news" flowing through this city, but then I have moments that make me not recognize myself. On Friday, I found myself smuggling an article about immigration and English as official/common/national language onto the metro like it was porn I was trying to sneak by my mother. I scan the paper in the office before I leave to see if there's anything I want to read.... and not just in Arts/Style.
Oh-- Hyla--- dear apolitical Hyla... where are you? You're not turning to the dark side, are you? Can you be impassioned (or at least informed) on issues without being "political"? hmmm... I don't know.... Just call home every once in a while. I may miss you.