The inevitable New Year's Post

Oh, the last day of the year...that day when I get to focus on all that I did NOT accomplish this year. At the beginning of 2006, I posted a few resolutions for the year. They were different than the resolutions of most years... I made things that were achievable, reachable. Well, it turns out that they weren't as achievable as I thought. Here's the year-end status report:
1 - Explore 10 metro stops I've never checked out before. Silver Spring, King Street, Woodley Park, East Falls Church, New York Ave (worth skipping)... I think that's it. So, that's 5. I got a 50% on that.
2 -Read 5 non-fiction books about things I wonder about. I read two. I read a book about the Johnstown flood and a book about Crunchy Conservatism. 40% on this one.
3 - Edit my thesis for publication. Yeah, didn't get anywhere on this one. 0%
4 - Learn a new sport. Again, 0%

So, that's an overall grade of what, 12%? Oh well, that's 12% more than I probably would have accomplished without the goals. However, let's dwell on the positive. Here's what I did accomplish:
1 - I learned a new skill for DC living. I learned to maintain my composure and even keep up when conversations turned to political subjects.
2 - I learned a good bit about event planning, including the fact that I really enjoy doing it.
3 - I landed on my fourth continent - Asia.
4 - I made it through an entire calendar year with one employer...ups and downs marked the ride, but I did it and I'm happy with that.

There's been progress...minimal, but progress nonetheless.
Happy New Year!

Christmas gifts

Ok, so I was reading a friend's blog and she was talking about the gifts she gave which made me want to talk about the gifts I gave. So, Heather, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. I totally stole this from you.
I'm always much more about the gifts I give than the gifts I receive. I mean, don't get me wrong. I get as excited as anybody about a gift card or a well-chosen gift (Thanks, mom, for the slipper shoes - they're awesome), but for me, gifts are all about the giving. I love taking the time to really ponder a great gift for someone. I wish I could say that I did a good job of gift-giving this year, but unfortunately, I was in a major time crunch this fall so my Christmas giving was lackluster at best. And, I did give Amy my mother's gift instead of hers, which she promptly took to Idaho with her. However, I did manage to fit in a few winners. So, without further ado, my list of successful Christmas gifts.
- Taking Mom and Dad to a steakhouse in DC for a really yummy meal that they don't usually treat themselves to. I think that was a winner. They don't say much, but I think they really liked it.
- A good recording of Handel's Messiah for Amy. Amy asked me to borrow mine one day and I realized that I didn't actually own it so I got her a good one... and she's the kind of girl that appreciates it. snazzy.
- Laminated parking instructions for Heinz Field for Tara. You wouldn't think it was so great, but paired with an atlas marked with our road trips and a Steelers car flag, it was a winner.
- a silver "S" necklace for my sis-in-law, Steph. I actually thought I wimped out on this one, but I think she really liked it. She said she'd always wanted one, but never had one. Score.
- a talking pizza cutter for my brother. No, really, I'm serious. Thanks to Tara on this one. It was an impulse buy at Heinz Field on Christmas Eve at her prompting, but it was totally the star of the show. My brother laughed like I remember him laughing ten or fifteen years ago. I love that laugh. That lighthearted spirit is something I love about him. So, if a gift gets that laugh, you're good.
- a book about knots for Jeremy. If you know Jeremy, you know why this is great. Jeremy - have you made me a ladder yet?

So, even though I felt like I didn't get meaningful gifts, I think I still did an okay job in the end. Merry Christmas a little late.

What did you get for Christmas?

Oh, well, thanks for asking. I actually got a spinny bug. What, you ask, is a spinny bug? Well, it's a thing that makes you sick and you feel off-balance for days. On day one, well, you don't want to know about day one... it's gross. On day two, you can have your eyes open as long as your head is supported somewhere and eat small amounts of spinny-approved food. And on day three, you can sit up for limited amounts of time and drink Diet Coke (no really - that's what it said in the manual... honest!) So, that's what I'm doing with my vacation-- a whole lot of nothing!! So much for all of those goals.
What did YOU get for Christmas?

Things learned from changing a lightbulb

Ok, well, only one really. I was up on a chair, changing the lightbulb in the living room when something caught my eye out the window. It turns out that when there aren't any leaves on the trees, I can see the top of the Washington Monument from my apartment. Cool!
And, weird. I mean, those red eyes are ominous. Like big brother watching out over the whole city. But, cool nonetheless!

Addendum: It turns out that we can also see the Capitol from our apartment. Snazzy.

Bows, not bags

Thanks to Colleen, we started a bit of a new tradition last night. It seemed that we had fallen into an unfortunate habit of unceremoniously handing off Christmas presents in their plastic bag wrappings. So, in the spirit of adding a little tradition to the holidays, we got together for a casual dinner, cookie frosting, ornament painting (unplanned, but necessary due to Colleen and Nathaniel's tree only having one ornament!) and gift exchanging. Over champagne, we toasted to the presence of bows and the absence of bags. And, so, Bows, not Bags is born!

Botched gift giving

So, I bought this fabulous recording of Messiah for my friend, Amy, for Christmas. I really wanted her to have it before she left for Christmas today so I left this beautifully wrapped gift in her doorway for her to trip over on the way out the door. She grabbed it on her way to the airport en route to Idaho.
Tonight, I was gathering presents for a gift exchange tomorrow and realized that I still had her CD under the tree. I, being the brilliant one I am, left my mother's Christmas present on her doorstep! Needless to say she was a little confused as to why I would give her a White House ornament!! Oh well, I guess mom's gift will be a little late.

Now that feels awesome!

I just logged out of the class reunion email for the last time! Whoo0hoo! Nothing like actually finishing up a project.
Now, on to the next thing.

Reclaim the margins!

I've recently been very frustrated by the disappearance of margins in my life. Every moment of every day is scheduled out... usually far in advance. One week gets filled up and then the next and before you know it, the white space around the edges of my life is completely gone. This really upsets me. I need my life to be more than scheduled blocks of time all fit together neatly like a tetris screen. I thrive on spontanaeity and when spur-of-the-moment no longer happens, I have a hard time enjoying the craziness of life.
Today, though, I got to hang out with the family in Ebensburg. There's always an adjustment period for me when I come home. I've been going, going, going and then all of a sudden I get plopped down in my parents' living room and life slows down by 240 mph. I don't always handle that well, but today, doing nothing was exactly what I needed. In fact, I worked on a jigsaw puzzle with Mom and Dad and watched a movie I've seen half a dozen times. And, it was really nice.
Now, if only I could figure out how to bridge my inner conflict of being closer with family and handling the rest of my life. But, for now, I will enjoy a weekend at home.
So - go... reclaim your margins!

Scary Stuff

So, today, I'm sitting outside at Furin's in Georgetown, eating a lovely salad and enjoying a beautiful day on my lunch break. This woman walks by me on the sidewalk, leans in toward me and looked like she was staring at my salad. Just as she passed me, she said something that I didn't hear so I said, "What?" "Hey, baby," she said. I kind of turned my head and looked at her and then turned right back to my salad. Before I had time to even digest what had just happened, I heard a familiar voice say, "Don't you recognize me?" It was a friend of mine dressed in drag for Halloween!

Geez! That was about enough to give me a heart attack!!

Happy Columbus Day!

I love holidays that don't have any real events. Because, they end up being actual holidays! I can accomplish so much and don't have to worry about a million different plans or a party or whatever. In fact, it is quite possible that Columbus Day is my new favorite holiday.
So, I was just looking through some pictures and found this one. It was exactly one year ago. Last Columbus Day, I spent the day with Thomas Pappas rehearsing some awesome music and then spending a little time in the city. He grew up in Germany and was asking me how we celebrate Columbus Day, to which I didn't really have an answer, but it turns out that there is a Columbus memorial by Union Station so we took pictures there to celebrate. Perhaps I will make that a tradition and celebrate there again today!

Football is fun. So are friends. So are new-ish friends. I watched the game tonight at Pour House, which is always fun, though less fun when we lose. But, more fun when there are friends around to cheer with me. We definitely had fun... more football to come and hopefully more fun, too.

Update

Ok, I'm feeling much better this morning. I was able to reach a couple of the people helping me coordinate the reunion and at least I don't feel left out to hang by myself. Still lots of friend stress, but the new day does help my perspective a little.

I am so frustrated right now by so many things. I feel like so many things are just going wrong. there are plenty of things going right, but I'm really frustrated by unrealized potential. My class reunion had the potential to be awesome, but it's not going to be... it's going to be totally lame. And, I feel like it's my fault for not wanting to kill myself to work out every single detail myself. I know my friends are going to blame me. And, I absolutely hate letting people down. I know that's probably a result of my selfishness since it's really my image that I'm concerned about more than the quality of the reunion. I just don't want to be blamed for things that aren't my fault. Honestly, I don't even want to go any more. But, I will. I'll get all this stuff done and it will go off and some day I will forget about the absolutely embarassingly awful reuinon I once helped to coordinate.
To top it off, I'm having some friend strife. I'm just barely keeping my head above water with work and my volunteer projects and I don't have time to deal with friendship stress, but yet it is there. I just really want friends that trust me to be their friend and in turn, I can trust them to be mine. It seems like such a simple concept, but obviously, it's not. I'm a loyal friend. I don't purposely do things that would upset my friends and it really distresses me when they are mad at me. My friends are my family and I can't live without them...especially not now.
Well, this is exceedingly long so I had better go and finish putting together the crappy reunion website and designing the crappy invitations to the boring reunion at the lame location with the gross food. Then, tomorrow, invitations, invitations, work, work, work.

God speaks my language

I had the following lighthearted conversation with God today when I was really stressed out and walked into the CVS after work:
Me: Oh, if there is a God in heaven, let there be a Diet Cherry Coke. I really need it today.
God: (silent)
Me: Oh, I'm just joking. I know you exist. Ha, ha.
God: Oh really?
Hyla walks to the back of the store and finds the one last Diet Cherry Coke in the cooler.
Me: Ok, fine. I get it! (much laughter)

Sometimes God knows when I need him to speak just my language. What a great coincidence! (or was it?)

What's this?

I felt a kind of nesting impulse on the way home tonight. Weird. Weird. Weird.
What's happening to me?

Lost in Blogland

Well, it's finally happened. I've failed as a blogger. My life is kind of eating me alive (in a good way - I love being busy) and I feel guilty spending even a short amount of time blogging these days. So, this is my copout for blogging from now until December just in case I don't get around to it.
So - see you then!!

By Request

Amy requested specifics on the games and I must oblige.
We have tickets to the November 5 game against the Denver Broncos and the Christmas Eve game against the Baltimore Ravens.
Whoo-hoo! I'm totally excited. I haven't been to the new field yet and I can't wait to be there in the home crowd excitement.
But, till then I will reign in my enthusiasm unless asked to expound.

The good, the great and the ugly

Good: We finally have a functioning stove and oven that fits in the space designed for it.
Great: Colleen and Nathaniel come home in 3 days!!
Great: Our Steelers tickets came today!
Ugly: The Steelers game is not available for viewing in DC.

What next?

So, Pluto isn't a planet now?? A group of nerdy guys can vote in and out planets? really? I feel like this was all done very secrety-secret and then Boom! My very elderly mother just serves us gnarly.................
What about the sun? We still travel around the sun, right? Can I trust anything I learned in school?
I can handle this, but if they tell me I'm adopted, I'll need therapy.

a good souvenir

Today I saw a souvenir that I actually like. A girl on the metro had on a shirt that said "Smithsonian est. 1846 (or whatever the actual year is)". The ultimate geek souvenir! Sweet!

Family time

The last few days have been so good. I've spent time with almost all of my family. I came home to help my mom work on her father's house, but we didn't really do that much. I think I did help her get her mind off of it a little, though, which is even better. On Sunday, I got to see my brother and his family for the first time in about a year and a half. It's so good to spend time with people that just completely and totally accept you! Partly because they have to, but partly because they were raised that way and because they want to. Today, I got to see my grandmother and my aunt. I think my grandma is amazing! She is almost 85 years old and she is just too cool. She looks beautiful, is totally fun and just a beautiful person.
I am leaving tomorrow morning refreshed and recharged. Now that is a vacation! Back to the daily grind.

Llama fun

I was hangin' out with my family in my living room yesterday and I looked out the front window and just started cracking up laughing. I saw a llama roll over! It was quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen! It was laying on its back for a brief instant with its legs up in the air. I cracked up! When was the last time you saw a llama roll over? Heck, when was the last time you saw a llama? Let alone from your living room window. Good times.

mongolian shoe barbecue

I needed a break at work so I designed a shoe. Did you hear me? I DESIGNED A SHOE!
Puma has this great thing where you can design your own shoe. It's a little pricey to have them made, but I am SOO tempted. Check it out!

Where's the weekend

Since when do weekends disappear in 4.7 seconds? It seems like it was just Friday and now it's almost Monday again. Crazy. It's been a good weekend, though. I love having an "open door" home. I've always wanted my place to be the place that people know they can just stop by and be welcome. I want it to be the gathering place and a comfortable place. A friend is staying with us for a little while during her apartment hunt. I'm so glad to have space to offer someone. I really wanted a larger apartment so that I could use it to entertain. God hooked me up with the space and I want to use it for good. To give it back, in a way. It's not perfect, but it's nice. Tonight, we threw a little birthday bash for Amy. There were probably 15 people or so in here. It was crowded, but not horribly so.
Anyways, I got an insane amount of stuff done today. I finished painting the bathroom, cleaned up here and there, bought the stuff for the party, decorated, and pulled off a party that was at least mildly amusing.
Well, off to Monday!

Words of wisdom

Today's words of wisdom:
It is not a good idea to mail chocolate in July.

My favorite

Today, my favorite of all God's promises is the promise of winter. I think I'm going to buy a summer home in Siberia.

My rekindled love for soft pretzels and other such things

I forgot how much I love Philly soft pretzels. I'm at a conference in the Philly area and they had soft pretzels. I love them because they are a good sturdy food. I love them because they take a long time to eat. I love them because you expect a really yummy savory, salty food and yet there's a little sweet overtone in there. mmm... I do miss the pretzels.

I also thought about something in a new way today. It dawned on me that I am a living legacy of my mother, well, both my parents really. I know that sounds elementary -- that I would carry my parents' likeness, but it's not something that I'm frequently aware of. However, I was singing tonight and I could hear a little bit of my mother's voice. It kind of spooked me out - in a good way.

Finally, this conference is held at a church. Not just any church. A big, scary, perfectly manicured lawn church that I drove by the first time b/c I thought it was housing of some sort. I affectionately call it the Church of the Holy Moose. They have these clear pulpits in all of the meeting rooms that have a moose emblazoned on them. I figured that was their mascot. The Holy Moose.

Have I mentioned that I love my friends? Have I mentioned that I love people in general? I've had a good blend of alone-time and together time over the last 24 hours or so and it's just been great. And the "together time" has been with people that I haven't spent a lot of time with lately so it was just so good. I love discovering what makes people tick and how they think and approach things. I had several great conversations tonight that I had really been missing...the kind of serious, in-depth conversations that really fuel me, but that I seem to so rarely have anymore. I also love seeing someone's strength and discovering ways to pair it with someone else's strength to make it even better. I love friends and conversation and wine and serious moments and dreaming moments.

It's gonna be a good day

It was up in there air there for a while, but when I walked into CVS and heard Jann Arden singing "Insensitive", I knew it was all gonna be alright!

even for me

Fly to Atlanta to meet a random guy? That may be too crazy even for me.

first night

It's my first night staying in the new apartment. I have lots of thoughts, but I will try to keep this to a reasonable length.
1. I am starting to get tired. I've been pushing myself lately to accomplish a lot. I feel like for a long time I hadn't been working/living nearly up to my potential so I've been trying to be better about that. And, generally, I seem to have more energy than when I was accomplishing less. Amazing how that works. But, now I'm getting a little tired. Hopefully, I'll be ready to go in the morning.
2. I owe God lots of high fives (does God have fingers?) for hooking me up with this place and my roommate. The apartment is really large, totally affordable and in a location I really like. It's a long, complicated story, but basically, I think I got in under the line to get a really great price on this apartment before the new management company hikes up the prices. And, I think living with JoyAnna will be a lot of fun and an all-around good experience. (Except for football season when we may have to yell at each other a lot.)
3. Friends are amazing. I've lived the vast majority of the last decade of my life away from my family which has made me realize even more how valuable my friendships are. (However, I seem to value my family more now, too, since they aren't around.) My friends chipped in and helped me and my roommate move over the last week. They have been so great to me! Some of them don't even really know JoyAnna and yet they were so willing to help. I don't know how we would have done it without them. Thanks a million times over!!
4. Finally, I must add a seemingly random thought. There are a lot of doors in this place. I've spent the last five years of my life living in either a studio apartment or renting a room in a house. What does this have to do with doors, you ask? Well, in each of those places there weren't very many doors and in the studios, the door to my room was also the door to my apartment. As I was looking around tonight, I realized that I will have to shut doors before I go to sleep from now on...and that the door to my room is not the entrance. You would think this would make me feel more secure, but oddly enough, I grew so used to having the entrance in my room that it feels weird to think that someone could come in and out of the apartment without me seeing or hearing them while I'm asleep. Weird.

New apartment update

It is now 11:30pm and the contractor is still working in the apartment. They are serious about getting us in there tomorrow. I've been keeping tabs on the progress of our new place. As of Tuesday night, the apartment needed the following: paint all walls, replace the flooring in the kitchen and bathroom, replace all carpeting, clean or replace kitchen counters, replace stove and refrigerator (no fridge), resurface tub and sink in bathroom. As of 11:36, all walls and trim are painted, carpet is replaced, new tile (beautiful!) is in the kitchen and I heard whistling coming from the bathroom. Sweet! Also, I saw a bathroom cabinet/sink thing sitting in the living room earlier, that I assume will be put in the bathroom since it would be odd to leave it in the living room. I couldn't see the kitchen counters from my vantage point, peering through the cracked-open door, but I know have confidence that it will all be done in time. I can't believe they're working overtime to get this done as promised, but I am so psyched about my new place!! JoyAnna, you're going to be amazed!!

so hot

It's 85 already. I hate the heat. But, alas, it is the 4th of July. What do I expect? What festivities shall I enjoy today? I've tried to keep my options open for spontaneous fun, but hopefully, that doesn't bite me in the but and turn into no plans at all. We'll see. The fireworks here are some of the best around so I will try to go down and take some in. And, there is a bbq that I'm fairly sure will qualify as giant and delicious, later today. I don't know if I can resist Laura's grilled cabbage with bacon. mmmm I'll let you know what I end up doing.
EDIT: It rained and cooled it off enough for me to make my way to a bbq and then to the mall for some fireworks. I must admit that those are some nifty fireworks they put off in this here city. And, now I get to fall asleep to the smell of primer. yummy.

Random thoughts from the trip home

I had so much fun tonight. I don't know why particularly...just hanging out with a random group of people as usual. I laughed so hard. Everything was funny. The timing was "on". Good stuff. But, then, we rode the metro home with bellies full of ice cream and soda. Ok, so only Kurt and I had the bright idea to add carbonation to milkfat, but the point remains. Not a good idea. We were both leaning over, holding onto the escalator rails (gross) coming up out of the metro like drunk people. I have an ice cream hangover. But, it was really good ice cream. So, it was kind of like being hung over from a couple of bottles of Opus 1 wine rather than from Bud Lite.
Then, I caught a bus home and there was a group of deaf people "chatting" on there. And, they were using the f-word a lot. Is that acceptable? It's not socially acceptable to litter an audible conversation with that word so is it ok to do it in sign language? I'd really like to know the etiquette on that.
That's all I've got for tonight.

Sunday drive deluge

I rented a car today to drive up to Lancaster to visit Lisa and her family (which was lovely and I will try to write more about that later) and got to drive through some really "fun" rainstorms. It was raining pretty hard this morning, but the traffic was light and it was daylight so it didn't really hold me up. But, tonight, it was crazy. It was dark, traffic was heavier and the it was raining cats, dogs, ostriches, small horses...really crazy stuff. Anyways, so it took me almost 4 hours to get in the vicinity of National Airport where I had rented the car. Then, once I got near, I couldn't even return the car because the GW Parkway was closed due to flooding. Fortunately, the rental company (Thank you, Budget!) gave me an extra day to return the car...so once I paddled through the puddles and lakes of VA and DC, I didn't even have to walk home. And, really, that's very nice. I would have been so incredibly wet that it really wouldn't have been even mildly amusing.
For the record, driving in a torrential downpour for 4 hours is really stressful. But, now I am home...with less stress and drier than originally anticipated. And, I even found a good parking space. God is good.

New Professionalism and Old Friends

I ended up attending a board meeting for our organization tonight and also ended up presenting what amounted to a marketing report. I, typically, come off sounding a little flighty and appearing that way because I make wild hand gestures and use speech fillers such as "like" too much. But, I held my composure. I kept my hands under the table, spoke in a lower tone of voice and used only complete sentences. I know that seems elementary, but for me, that was a big breakthrough. I truly felt that I held my own around that table of very successful people.
Then, tonight, after a lovely dinner with a friend that I don't see nearly often enough, I got a phone call from someone I haven't talked to in over six years. I went to high school with her and so I called her parents last weekend in an attempt to get her contact information for our ten-year reunion. So, she called me up tonight. We ended up talking for an hour and a half. Our lives are pretty much polar opposites of each other, but we still had a blast chatting. She is one of those super-cool people that always dared to do life her way and I am so thrilled to be reconnected with her. If only she lived closer!! I am having so much fun finding long lost high school people. I can only hope the reunion is half this fun!

nothing

I've got nothing. How is it possible that I haven't blogged since Wednesday and I've got nothing to say? Let's see... what have I done since Wed? I got a new phone. Today was father's day. I met three new people. I went to Target (that was exciting). I went to Eastern Market and was heckled for wearing my Steelers shirt. That's about it. It was a good low-key weekend. I haven't left the hill since Friday night.
Now, if that isn't a blog about nothing, I don't know what is!!

My losing streak

I have a secret. I'm bad luck. Every time I go to a professional sporting event, the team I root for loses. Whether or not I'm an invested fan, they still go down. I do my part. I cheer and yell and dance and wave things and yet, they lose. Tonight, it's the Nationals to whom I owe an apology. I tried. I stayed to the very last out when the stands were nearly empty...to no avail. So, I'm sorry. Best of luck tomorrow. Don't worry. I'll stay home.

HP sucks

I bought an HP camera in December. After several months of thinking I was just a really bad photographer, I realized that my camera is defective. I called HP tonight and they basically said, "That's too bad. There's nothing we can do." That's not a satisfactory answer for me. I spent money on their product. Their product does not work. Now I have neither my money nor a working camera. I am not happy at all. I will not be buying another HP camera. And, I will think hard before buying anything at all from HP. Their customer service is sub-par in my opinion. So, there it is. My little not-so-public, public opinion of HP products.

Today's musical experience

Tonight I heard Mahler's 8th Symphony (Symphony of a Thousand) featuring five local choruses and the NSO at the Kennedy Center. It was, well, Mahler... loud. The performance wasn't bad. The orchestra sounded better than I've heard them sound on some other things, though still not fabulous. The sheer number of performing forces and the power of sound required to perform the thing is so unusual that it impresses merely by being performed. Right, wrong or otherwise, that's just the way it is. So, I'll leave it at that. I've heard it live. I suppose I can check it off my list. But, there was a children's choir. And, a pretty good one at that. There is something so touching about seeing the product of an in-depth arts learning experience for children that just gets me at my very core.
Now, as usual, a few non-musical observations:
- Condi was there, back in the president's box. Poor woman. The girl just wanted to hear Mahler 8 for heaven's sake and she had to take 38 of her "best friends" with her. There were about 15 secret service officers waiting outside the president's box for her afterward. I hope she was able to forget about all of those guys and enjoy the concert. What a life. But, props to her...she keeps coming out to concerts and hearing what it is that she loves. That's more than admirable.
- I was seated in the box closest to the stage, which means I had a good view of the musicians' facial expressions. That's always interesting to watch...to see how the oboist and flutist will lean and breathe together or whatnot. However, the moment of the night was when something (I have no idea what) made a cellist crack up laughing. He was laughing so hard his cello was shaking. It was absolutely hysterical! I could see him repeatedly try to regain his composure, but it took him a good 30 seconds to recover. Priceless!

a brief blogging hiatus

Please excuse the brief pause in blogging this week. It is a crazy, crazy week for work and life. I will most likely return to my normal posting patterns next week. Have a fabulous rest of the week everyone. And, for everyone living in DC, isn't this weather amazing??

an open letter

Dear God,
Why did you make fireflies? Do they serve a purpose? Or, is their purpose solely to amuse us homosapiens? (I know, can you believe someone was pompous enough to call your people-creations something so fancy?) Are they to entertain small children and give them an opportunity to learn the ill effects of trapping an organism in something that is not its natural habitat? And, why their butts? Why not their wings? Light-up butts are funny. Thank you for not giving me a light-up butt. And, is it voluntary or involuntary? Can they decide when and how frequently to light up their little behinds? It doesn't seem that they have control over the length of the illumination, though. So, why not? If it's involuntary, it seems a little cruel. It's hard to sneak around, in stealth bug mode when your ass keeps lighting up. But, maybe it's for their own safety. Your prompt reply is appreciated,
Hyla

Stop the presses!

The Pittsburgh Pirates have won their last four games in a row! Watch out! We're makin' a comeback. St. Louis, watch your back.

(I had to get that in there... God only knows it might be the only time this season I get to say that)

personal detox

I feel in deep need of personal detox. I've recently felt like I was keeping my head just barely above water and then suddenly, tonight, I felt like I was pushed under. If it was just one area of my life, it would be ok, but it's practically every area of my life. And, it all comes down to one thing. I feel inadequate in pretty much every facet of my being right now. I know that I've just been too busy, too stressed, too sick... whatever... and I just need a day or so to decompress. But, I'm afraid it runs deeper than that so I'm going to try to take a week to insulate myself a bit and get myself centered a little better. I'm not sure exactly what that's going to look like, but it will probably involve very little socializing and a lot of me-time and God-time. Here's the sad part... I can't do it until at least the week after next. Oh, stupid schedules.

Hopefully, that remedies the issue.

Shakespeare in the park

I went and took in some Shakespeare in the Park yesterday. How fun is that? It was worth the bus ride up there. They performed Pericles, which is an interesting piece. It pretty much breaks down like this:
3 shipwrecks + 2 false deaths + pirates + brothel = something that actually works

Gotta love Shakespeare. I love it especially because he has no qualms about saying "Hold on. I'm almost done. I promise. It's almost over." love it.

It's playing through June 5 at Carter Barren up in NW. Check it out if you can!

My first true Memorial Day celebration

As noted in an earlier post, my mom is in town this weekend. She is a veteran DC visitor so we try to mix in a new adventure with her favorites when she comes. So, today we were walking from the Smithsonian metro stop down to the Tidal Basin to go paddleboating (very fun, by the way--thanks to Lisa for the idea) when thousands of motorcycles were making their way down Independence Avenue. I had heard about this annual tradition of veterans on motorcycles converging on DC (I think they may actually end up at the Pentagon?? Can anyone correct me on that?), but I'm usually pretty numb to veterans things as I tend to stuff all of that down and not think about the unpleasantness that is war. But, as we were minding our business, walking down Independence Ave., with hundreds of flag-clad motorcycles roaring by, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I tried my hardest to choke back this involuntary swell of emotion, but it kept resurfacing so eventually I just stopped our conversation until I was sure I wasn't going to "lose it". I felt the sort of confusion I most readily associate with adolescence... that I know I'm feeling this emotion and it is physically expressing itself, but I have no idea why. As we turned the corner down 15th street, I realized that I knew full well why tears were brimming. Right before my eyes were hundreds of real-life veterans, men and women who experienced the sights, sounds and atrocities that I usually replace with faceless uniforms in order to feel a little better about those very things. But, as I walked down 15th street, I knew that it was personal. Each person on a bike today had a personal story to tell and as an American citizen, I automatically have a personal link to those faces. Once the lump in my throat subsided, I turned to my mother and said, "That was oddly moving." Yes, oddly moving indeed. Or, perhaps, not odd. Just unexpected.

All in a day's commute

As I was walking to the metro this morning, a bug flew into my eye. How do they do that? Is it an incredible lack of navigation skill or extreme precision that allows them to propel themselves into my eye? I don’t know, but regardless, I had to stop and deal with the inconvenience. I tried to make sure my watery eye was clear of all bug matter, but it didn’t seem to be working so I started on my way again, still fidgeting with my eye. At the corner, I caught up to a guy that passed me when I had stopped to deal with the bug. He looked at me and said, “Are you okay?” I laughed and said, “Yeah, I’m fine. I think a bug flew into my eye.” He stopped me and picked the bug off the corner of my eye with his fingers. A sweet and appreciated gesture, but borderline personal for a complete stranger. Turns out it was his first day in DC so I showed him the way to the Metro in exchange for his bug-picking services. Strange.

a long weekend with Mama

Mom's coming in for the weekend. Don't get me wrong -- I love my mom. We are great friends. We are better friends when she isn't living in the same 350 sq. feet that I am, though. So, we need lots of activities. We will be painting my kitchen back to white (so sad, I know!) and packing up my books, but that will only take so long. I think we will go to Eastern Market for a while on Sunday followed by brunch, but again, that only takes so much time. What else shall we do? Suggestions, anyone?

allergies: old-school style

I think today was the worst allergy day I've had since high school. It was basically an all-day allergy attack. How lovely. Stupid pollens.

On a completely different note, two zipcars just moved in behind my building! yippee!

Update: I think there was a cold tag-teaming with my allergies. That would explain it.

City of Brotherly Love

Well, on a less messed up note, I am heading to Philly for the better part of the weekend. Yay! I miss it so! And, I miss my mini-church friends, and, of course, my dear friend Kristin. Don't get me wrong...I love my life in DC, but I'm looking forward to a weekend in a city I love. Three cheers for tall buildings!!

boys, boys, boys

If what I really want is a serious relationship with someone geographically close to me that loves Jesus, does that mean that I should turn away anything that doesn't fit that description? Am I preventing myself from being at the right place at the right time if I don't "hold out" for what I want in the end? My gut instinct is yes, but damn it, I'm lonely. And, I like the dating scene... as cruel to my heart as it is, I still like the companionship by dating-default. I do want the long-term relationship, but if short-term adoration/relationship is what is attainable right now, then maybe that's okay, too. I don't know. I think I'm messed up in the head.

U-Haul-free

It's official. At some point in June, I will be moving into a new apartment. I will no longer be living alone and instead will be sharing a much roomier, two-bedroom place with a friend from church. I'll actually end up spending less on rent and will have space to entertain more, which I am REALLY looking forward to...dinner parties and martinis for everyone! But, the location is the best part -- the other end of the hall! Yes, it's in my current building and is even on the same floor! Yippee! So, basically, this means I will be making 100 trips back and forth to transfer kitchen stuff. Just let me know if you want to be part of the box chain or want to help me move my mattress 300 feet. This is going to be awesome! I'm so excited.
Oh, yeah, I need to paint my oh-so-bright walls back to white and khaki. sad.

a bad ode to poetry night

went to a poetry reading tonight
my first one, i think
it was open mic
the mic may have been a little too open
some were ok
most were angry
I'm not so good with anger
some were naughty
I'm better with naughty
It should probably be the other way around
but it was fun
I'll go back
yeah for busboys and poets

Let them dance!

Recently, I've had the opportunity to observe several exceptionally adorable black children sponatneously dancing. This is not organized dance class. This is a child hearing music and physicalizing it, externalizing it, if you will. Why don't I see as many white kids sponaneously dancing? I'm not sure entirely, but this is what I think - it's this simple - the black kids are encouraged to dance. When they dance, their parents don't say (in that kind of scary, baby voice), "Are you being silly?" or "You're a silly goose!" Their parents actually join in! Now, I don't think that the parents that associate kids' dances with being a silly goose intend to discourage dancing. I just think that they aren't comfortable dancing themselves so rather than join in, they make a socially-acceptable comment. However, I'm wondering if this isn't a sad social norm. At a certain age, a child starts to think that maybe being a "silly goose" isn't the best thing in the world and that in order to "grow up," they must stop dancing. But, in the African-American community, it's different. It is good, natural, encouraged and they most likely learn by imitation (although I think there is a great deal of innate rhythm born into all children). I am going to do my very best never to call a child a "silly goose" ever again.
Dance on!!

100

That's the percentage of my food intake so far today that was purchased at CVS.

disturbing

Intense Tourist Season Predicted

Although early May in DC typically sees only mild tourism in comparison to the innumerable throngs that swarm the city in July, this year’s high early tourist quotient smells of an unusually intense tourist season. Yes, I said the tourists smell. Walking to Union Station on Friday, the smell of wandering tourists and perfume-crazy teenage girls was wafting toward me, warning me of what could only be explained as an onslaught of school groups. From Iowa, Indiana, Texas, Florida, Nebraska, yea even Mississippi, they have come. They come in matching t-shirts declaring their home state and marching band, sometimes even their names (does anyone else think this is odd?). They come wearing fanny packs and bearing metro maps.

But, I digress. I can’t help but wonder if the large early numbers are an indication of suffocating tourist conditions yet to come this summer. I know I was new in town last year, but it didn’t seem so intense in May. Perhaps I was too busy soaking up the sun that was much warmer last year than it is so far this year (NOT that I’m complaining!) to notice them flooding by, waiting for each other in front of the only working smarttrip machine and taking pictures in front of every government agency. (Do they really put those pictures of them in front of the Department of Transportation in their scrapbook?) But, really, how do you miss 5 groups numbering more than a hundred each? And, it’s not like they’re going to discreetly walk single-file on the right side of the sidewalk. No, they fill up the entire sidewalk at Union Station so that anyone daring to go upstream must apologetically shuffle by on the edge.

So, the point is this – it’s not going to get better folks! The tourists will continue to pour in this summer. The commute will have to be extended by at least five minutes to account for direction-giving and escalator standing. They will continue to come and see their beloved capital city and we, the residents, will adjust….sometimes with a knowing smile, sometimes with a begrudging curse under our breath. For the record, though, I really am glad the tourists come. It is good for our city, our economy and helps keep our attractions free so I can take advantage of it the rest of the year. If only we could figure out how to let them know that people actually live here! Here’s to an unusually intense tourist season. May your patience be long, your directions concise and your commute short!

the song stuck in my head

"A friend's a friend forever" by Michael W. Smith... seriously. What is wrong with me? When was the last time I heard that, like 1994?

Is there a plot against me?

Seriously, folks. It was midnight and a little bit chilly and all I wanted was a bus going north on 8th street. There were NONE. But, there were 5 going in the other direction! I think metrobus has a personal vendetta against me.

I finally gave in

I have been non-link for a long time, but I can't take it anymore. I need a place where I can just click through and read my friends' blogs. So, please notice the lovely list of blogs to the right. If you're not on there, then you probably haven't been posting lately. Or, I just forgot you. Tell me your blog address and I'll probably add you in.

in my natural habitat

Today, I volunteered for a conference my church is hosting. The volunteering basically consisted of being available to help out where needed, making people feel welcome and just generally solving little issues. And, you know what? I felt so at home. I love doing that stuff! I love running around "fixing" things and making stuff happen. And, the best part was that I wasn't in charge... I was essentially a hey-girl. It was so nice to just show up and help. What a great "day off"!

wine and laundry

What do these things have in common? They were the background for a great night of hangin' out with Carolyn. I love the spontaneous moments of simply "doing life together." Very fun.

Next week: wine and dusting - the interactive version

my next book!

There was an article in the Post this morning highlighting a book called. Chrunchy Cons. From what I gleaned from the article, I'm gonna like this book. I didn't identify with everything in the article, but I have a feeling that this hybrid-person "Crunchy Con" will have a lot of my likeness.... hmmm.... I almost like this label!
Read the article

Sad commentary

In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination.
- Mark Twain

This was the quote of the day on Google today. I never want that to be applicable to me!! I hope and pray that my convictions and beliefs examined and tested - first hand.

The allergy fog

I feel like I'm living under an allergy fog. I'm actually coughing with my allergies this year. What's up with that? Oh well... just 6 more weeks to go until I can resume a normal life again.

x = .81(y)

That is the formula of the day. Today, April 26, 2006, marks the first time since high school that I have used algebra for practical purposes. I needed to figure out some numbers for work and I just couldn't get it. Then, I said, "I feel like I'm doing a word problem from high school" and it dawned on me that that is exactly what I should be doing. Hence, the formula. I'm so proud of myself! Mr. Solomon would be proud, too, if he weren't so busy being in jail.

To tame or not to tame

I should probably issue a warning: this may be stream-of-consciousness at its finest! Now, on to the stream! I've been thinking a lot lately about how to be the best Hyla I can be. What is the best Hyla? Is Hyla better when she just lives and is free from the hindrance of self-consciousness? Is taking time to think about the words that come out of my mouth being intentional or second-guessing myself? Do I need to edit myself more or less? Would I be freer to be me if I put tighter reins on my behavior or would I be inhibiting my natural personality?
I suppose I don't really have any answers for these questions. I ask them frequently, though, because I feel like my personality is so big and overwhelming. And, quite honestly, sometimes I'm embarrassed by it. My voice exaggerates things in ways that I don't mean them to be exaggerated and I'm sure that I scare off some people that I really mean to draw in. And, so I wonder what would happen if I intentionally corraled some of that for a tamer version of me. But, it may just turn out that I would feel fake and suffocated. I don't know. Hmmmm... well, that was the thought for the day.
I'll try to be funnier tomorrow.

What is it about rain?

I could write about rain forever. When I woke up and realized it was raining, my first thought was, "I've got to go running." It was the perfect morning for a run (well, jog or lope may be more fitting). There is something so renewing about running in the rain. The only people out are other people running and it just seems so easy to get inside my own head and clear out the fogginess. The rain feels so good running down my face. I can embrace the rain that would normally annoy me and let it soak in. Love it. My spirit feels better, my head feels better and my body feels better.

Sousa said this??

"Jazz will endure just as long as people hear it through their feet instead of their brains."

The view from the late 20's

Well, it's officially happened. I can no longer claim to be in my mid-twenties. I am a late-twenties-something. Crazy! I can't believe I'm 28. How did this happen? Have I done enough with my life to claim 28 years? That's likely more than a third of my life. poof! I need to make the next third really count!
However, I had a pretty good birthday. I had had a not-so-great weekend and work today was more than stressful. But, throughout yesterday and today, I got voicemails and texts and e-mails wishing me a happy birthday! It's so great to know that I have people all around the world (ok, so it wouldn't have been all around the world except that Colleen and Nathaniel are in Korea) care about me...and care enough to remember my birthday. And, then, this evening, there were cards, a cake...even a gift! How cool is that! But, you know what was awesome? I got a card that was signed by tons of people and as I read through them all, I realized that there was not even one person on there that I knew when I turned 27. I've met all of those people in the last year and all of them cared enough to sign a birthday card for me and I would earnestly call each of them my friend. THAT, my friends, is awesome! Last year, I knew almost no one and spent my birthday with the few people that I did know (which was totally fun! don't get sad-faced, Tara!) and this year, I feel like I live here.
Ok, I guess I'll stop rambling now. If you were around me today, thanks for making me feel special! You're awesome!

Blast from the Past

I went back to my hometown this weekend, partly to visit my parents, but also to meet with some people about planning our 10 yr. HS reunion. What a blast from the past. The boy that always intimidated me and treated me like a sub-human is a bonafide redneck. The girls that were all popular and preppy have husbands and children now. (Maybe that's what preppy, popular people do, I don't know.) The super nice guy that everyone loved is still the super nice guy that everyone loves, including his fiancee. And, I, of course, still come in the door mouth first, but I think my presence is very different. I hope so, at least. Anyways, the meeting went well...I felt pretty good about myself after I left, which is really what I was concerned about...feeling like the ugly, unpopular girl. I mean, I wasn't exactly class president growing up.
So, then on the way back to DC, we stopped at Burger King for an oh-so-healthy dinner in Hagerstown and a girl we went to school with, but hadn't talked to in 10 years walked in! How crazy is that?!? Turns out she lives in Annapolis and works in Bethesda. Crazy! Anyways, so, it was an interesting alumni kind of weekend.
But, for now, I have a splitting headache so I'm going to bed.

The signifier on my cake

We celebrated April birthdays at work today. My cake was carrot cake. It was very yummy. It also had orange icing carrots on the top. I would have known it was carrot cake even if there was no signifier on it to clue me in. I would like to petition for signifier-free carrot cake.

The optimal form of me

As any of my friends, family, heck - even enemies, will testify, I can be a bit of an extrovert. Sometimes, I'm closer to the introvert/extrovert line. But, every once in a while I take a running start and LEAP over the line into extrovertedness. Such was the case today. And, I always think I'm having a really good time, but then I go home and think, "I am the most obnoxious girl on the planet." And, of course, I wonder if everyone else thinks I'm the most obnoxious girl they've ever met. So, then I think, "I should really try to tame down my personality a little bit. I'm a little bit over the top." But, then, am I really being true to myself? Or, am I just working on being an even better form of myself? Oh, I don't know. Why do I do the things I do not want to do and the things I want to do are the very things I do not do???

My restlessness and ten years ago

I'm feeling restless tonight. I didn't want to go out, but now that I'm in, I'm a little lonely. The afternoon alone was good - productive, refreshing, even (gasp) fun. But, then when I sat down tonight with my Beijing style (that's TJ's terminology, not mine) stirfry, it felt a little empty. It's moments like these that it hits me really hard what it means to be single. Every once in a while, I have to be alone when I don't want to be. I didn't want to be out being charming and charismatic, but I would have liked someone here to tease me and dance around the kitchen with a spatula while I cooked. Or, imagine it... cook for me! But, I survived. I had a damn-good meal, thanks to Trader Joe's, and made my rounds in the blogosphere.

Which brings me to the "ten years ago" part of this post. A friend said on her blog that the yahoo blog topic of the day is What were you doing ten years ago? I started thinking about it and you know, I was counting down the days until I was out of my house. I was just about to turn 18 and wanted nothing more than to leave Ebensburg, go to college and pursue my dreams. It's kind of ironic (is it ironic? I don't know) that tonight I would like nothing more than to fix my mom a cup of tea and sit in her kitchen talking about nothing, but knowing that she understands me, if for no other reason than because she's known me the longest.

What were you doing 10 years ago?

Mama always said...

My mom lived in the same county, almost exclusively, for the first 40 or so years of her life. She must have found the transition to a new community a bit jarring because during that time (and after, too) I remember her saying, "Never say anything bad about anyone. You never know who's related to who."
Tonight, I went to hear The Julliard Quartet at the Library of Congress tonight. Among other works, they played a new work premiered just over 6 months ago. About 45 seconds into the first movement, my companion (who shall remain nameless, but he's about my age, shaved head... you might recognize him if you saw him) looks at me and puts his hand out over his knee and shakes it. It was that universal "It's okaay" symbol. I did the noncomittal head-sway as my jury was still out. So, they finish out the piece and when the quartet took their bows they pointed into the audience to acknowledge the composer. As is often the case with new works, the composer was in the audience....two seats down from me. I hope he didn't see his hand gesture, but I don't know how he could have missed it. Not that it really matters, but it is funny. Just goes to show. "Never say anything bad about anyone."

Two DC-isms

The cherry blossoms were so pretty...check out this accidentally perfect picture.

Also, there is a rumor that a Dunkin' Donuts opening on Barracks' Row in three months... mmmm

The chip on my shoulder

I've just gotta get this out of me. Why doesn't Susan Komen start adopting other wonderful causes? The Susan G. Komen foundation has seen one of the most successful (if not the most successful) campaigns in raising both money and awareness in history. Pink clothing, pens, hats, even the lights on Philly's buildings work for the cause of breast cancer research. Tonight, someone sent me a forward about buying pink M&Ms. (If you were the forwarder, know that I'm not upset...it just brought up a latent sentiment.) I thought, for the love of God, even our candy has a cause. Now, I must back up and say that I am ever grateful to the research and technology that allowed my mother, two aunts and a grandmother to survive breast cancer. However, with the wildly successful marketing and partnerships of Susan G. Komen, I wonder what other causes could be helped as well!?!
Thanks to Colleen and our conversation several years ago in a red Lumina on St. Asaph's Rd. for sparking this in me.

A contemplative moment*

I have been very busy lately...in a good way, but still busy. It would be an overstatement to say that I feel out of control, but it is nearing that. There are certain things that I really want to do that I just can't seem to find time for. I realize that it is a matter of priorities and as long as spending time with people remains a top priority, other things are going to get pushed down on the totem pole. But, spending time with people is my priority and I think it is one of the most important things in life. That being said, I wish I didn't have to go to work so I had time to do some of the other things I want to do... like rework my thesis!! So, I decided to conduct a two-week survey of my time. I'm logging what I do everyday for 2 weeks and then I will analyze it and figure out where my time is being spent in percentages. Then, I will be able to evaluate it and make adjustments so that I am using my time in the best possible way for the moment.
*contemplative may be pronounced with emphasis on either the first or second syllable.

My week, musically

I am a lucky, lucky little girl and was privileged to attend several live performances this week. On Thursday, I heard the NSO play an Elgar piece, a newer piano concerto by Melinda Wagner and Rachmaninoff's Second Symphony. The Elgar was tolerable. I was definitely intrigued by the piano concerto. There were definitely moments of beauty. She used some incredible textures between instruments that happened really seamlessly, but there were other spots where she seemed to fall just short of a profound effect. And, of course, the Rachmaninoff is just gorgeous. Often, when I'm listening to a symphony, I get so focused on following the form throughout and picking up on all the details and essentially analyzing it in my brain that I don't allow it to move me. However, I was really tired and I was able to just listen and enjoy the beautiful sounds without over-intellectualizing it. It was just really nice. I wished I could have hit repeat and let it play again. I love going to the orchestra during the week...it's such a nice retreat from life. I feel secluded in the concert hall even though hundreds of other people (thousands, actually) are all around me.
Then, last night, I got comp tickets to Cyro Baptista and Beat the Donkey, presented by WPAS. I knew it had to be okay if it was presented by WPAS as they always have great performances. And, it was...but if only I could describe it. Well, I'll try. Envision Stomp meets BlueManGroup (minus the paint) meets psychodelic performance of the early 1970's. I felt like I should have imbibed prior to the performance for the ultimate effect. It was fun. Kind of weird to just sit there and watch, though. It seemed like it should have been in a venue where you could get up and dance and not feel silly or be stared at like the super-crunchy people dancing over on the side aisle. Fun, nonetheless.
Oh, the diversity of my musical experiences.

my inner-15-year-old

I'm not generally very girlie, nor big on the girl popster of the moment. However, I heard a song for the first time that I thought had great words. Then, I heard it again 5 minutes later. It's Natasha Bedingfield's Unwritten. It's basically the usual teenage angst, unwritten book theme, but I love it. And, honestly, it resonates me on a Spiritual level - take it for what it's worth. Check it out for yourself:


I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

It can only get better

So far today, I've:
- gotten up late
- forgotten my phone
- lost my gloves
- dropped my newspaper somewhere
- realized that the appointment I was late for isn't actually until tomorrow.

It surely MUST get better, right?

On an Upswing

This week has been a really great upswing. A week ago, I was sad and stressed and not looking forward to the week ahead. Tonight, though, I am ready to go conquer the world! Well, not conquer, really, but you get the idea. My apartment is sparkly clean and even has some sweet tulips decking it out. I spent the day shopping and cooking and cleaning...it was wonderful. And, then I had the added bonus of having a few friends over for great conversation and food and wine. It's part of my concerted effort to hang out with women. I even enjoyed myself! Fabulous!! I feel happy and optimistic and excited for a new week. It's amazing what a difference one's habitat makes!

Oh look, even my blog dressed up!

Isn't it pretty in green? (Shh... don't tell that it's been green forever)
Happy St. Paddy's Day! Here's some of the strangeness from my morning commute:

• Drunk people at 9:30am - priceless - Overheard on escalator, (in shouting voice) "No, we're not going home, we're going to another bar" Don't hear that before noon very often!
• People lined up around the block to get in McFadden's. Doesn't anyone have to go to class or work today?
• A sign in front of a bar&grill: "St. Patrick's Day and LINT specials"
  mmm....yummy... lint! Do you have any toejam or pocketfuzz to go with that?

Just a little randomness to get you through!

I'm making it public

Tomorrow night (Thursday), I'm not making any plans. I'm staying home. I'm doing laundry and cleaning and giving myself a facial and trying to figure out why God says not to fear and then says to fear Him. I'll let you know how that all works out for me.
I thought I'd put it here so it wasn't just a thought, but a statement.

I, hereby, solemnly swear to spend all of Thursday evening by myself. I swear not to be tempted to make plans or go out on the spur of the moment. I swear to clean my socks and my floors. I swear to be rejuvenated by time alone.

a couple questions

I just walked by a bookstore and saw a book in the window titled, Why My Wife Thinks I’m an Idiot.* This makes me want to ask this guy a bunch of questions, the first of which is, “Why did you marry a woman that thinks you’re an idiot?” And then I want to find his wife and ask her why she married a guy she thinks is an idiot. It’s a free country, folks…don’t marry the people you think are idiots. That’s my free word of advice for the day.

* Disclosure: I have not read this book, nor even the book jacket so the comments herein likely have absolutely nothing to do with the book, but everything to do with the title.

I think I missed the memo

-the one that announced the descendence of the tourists upon our city. I didn't realize it happened this early. I thought they started drifting in in late April. Apparently, they are arriving, though, since I stumbled over lost-looking people and got to listen to large groups of midwestern boys' adolescent conversations on the way home. Man, I sound like a jerk. I need a reason to like tourists, I guess. Well, I guess they do help improve my patience level...and they provide much needed comic relief sometimes so that's good, too.
Happy tourist season.

My new look

labels

The other night, a friend commented about my dislike of labels. He's right. I do dislike labels, or more accurately, their application to me. It's generally not the label that I dislike, though. It's the group with which I would be affiliated if I am to be considered one of them. I don't like to be considered a Republican nor a Democrat. I don't like to be thought of as uptown or downtown, nor religious or churchy or even artsy or a foodie...even though I like people that would apply each of those labels to themselves. His point, though, was that he could pin me down with a combination of labels that would fairly accurately represent me. My argument is that every single person is too unique to be chiseled out by labels. He has a good point, though. In the meantime, I prefer to be decidedly unlabeled.

Welcome a new blogger

My friend, Jaime, has entered the blogosphere. This is a girl I've been able to cry and scream and rejoice with for a good 8 years. Ladies and gentlemen, Jaime Ehrhardt.

my hiatus

I can't believe it's been a week since I've posted. I feel like such a slacker. On the other hand, though, it's been a busy week and in a bizarre way, it's been good to cut the electronic shackle. I left my phone at home two different days this week, too. On the other hand, none of it was really intentional. I was just less than inspired so I disappeared from the blogosphere. Hoping for witty discourse to come spilling forth soon.

Jet lag

Okay, jet lag is kicking my butt! Check out the time of this post. And, the scary thing is I've already been up for a half-hour. ack. I thought I'd be over it by now.

More pictures!

K, last round of Korea pics are up. Unfortunately, I must not have appeased the camera gods sufficiently because a bunch of them turned out fuzzy. The best ones are here in no particular order.

Thoughts from Mt. Soerak-San

I should warn you... This is a long one.
I always learn something when I travel. Not just the things one would expect to learn, either. I mean, yes, I've learned quite a bit about Korean culture, but that is really just the icing on the cake. I've learned a bit about myself and life in general. I tend to view life as a very linear process of chasing goals, reaching goals, setting new goals and starting all over. These goals aren't necessarily steps in a row leading up to a culminating accomplishment, but more often lots of little accomplishments... hence, the goal cycle. However, they do seem to be more about me and the advancement of me than the advancement of others or even enrichment through the journey. That really saddens me. After all, I believe that wound around the core of it all should be just that: relationship and the journey through life. Perhaps I am ready to reconsider the shape of my life. Perhaps it is possible to have a job that not only pays the rent and allows you to fulfill part of your life-mission, but also gives you the flexibility to enjoy the journey a bit more.
This mini-epiphany also affects the way I approach romantic relationships. I know I don't often broach the subject on here, but this just wants to come pouring it out so here it is. Maybe I'm too linear in those relationships, too. In the past, I've frequently met a guy, dated a guy, evaluated whether or not I would be willing to spend my life with said guy and then promptly ditched him. I feel this incredible social pressure to "hurry up and find someone", but you know what? My life doesn't have to look like everyone else's. I need to stop planning my life for optimal marrying potential and plan my life for optimal growth and relational potential. And, if that means that I spend time traveling or living in places that are curious to me rather than remaining in my safe space waiting for the supposed "right life" to happen to me, then so be it.
So, what's the moral of the story? The mountain air has caused me to consider viewing my life from a slightly different angle. Hmm... we'll see what comes of it. Also, pictures of the gorgeous mountainscape coming soon.

Pictures from Seoul!

Here's a few shots from my first-ever week in Asia. Enjoy.

New Year's Resolution update

At the beginning of the year, I posted a few of my resolutions including reading five non-fiction books about things I wonder about. So, I read one. I guess that puts me vaguely on-track for five. I've got 10 months to go to do the other four. Anyways, I read David McCullough's The Johnstown Flood. I enjoyed it, largely because I grew up in the area and had a pre-existing familiarity of the subject, the area and the names. I suspect that I would have given up halfway through if it was the Portland, OR flood or some such thing. Regardless, though, it gave me reason to think about some things, particularly the importance of being aware of collective repercussions of individual actions. The flood was most likely a preventable tragedy, but no individual had enough conviction about the state of the dam to actually fix it. Of course, if they had known there would be such suffering as a result, then many people would probably have taken a different course of action. Regardless, it is an interesting book. One down...four to go.

I've been tagged

Thanks to Jonathan, I must now enter the next level of chain letters... the tag.

Four Jobs I've Had
Server
Piano Teacher
Trader Joe's Crew Member
Hotel Maid

Four Movies I can watch over and over
Black Sheep
Shawshank Redemption
Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion
Does the Steelers/Indy playoff game count?

Four Places I've Lived
San Francisco
Winona Lake, IN
Des Moines, IA
Philadelphia

Four Shows I like to watch
(Disclaimer: I don't own a tv)
Design on a Dime
West Wing
Will and Grace
NFL

Four Foods I like
Olives
Mozzarella
Couscous (hmm... I'm starting to see a pattern here)
artichokes

Four Websites I visit daily
NYTimes
WPAS
Steelers.com (only during the season, I swear!)
My friends' blogs

Four Things I want to do before I die
Be published
Get a PhD
Be trilingual
Have a closer relationship with my nieces

Four People I'm Tagging
Dennis
Tia
Colleen
Jaime (This is a really good excuse for you to start blogging...don't act like you don't send around those chain e-mails)

Retroactive Valentine post

In Korea, only the girls give boys candy and such on Feb. 14. Then, there is a separate day for the boys to reciprocate (Mar. 14, I think). Anyways, I was on the subway yesterday and there was this little Korean girl, well, woman...she was roughly my age, but I'd like to think of myself as a girl. Regardless, there was a girl carrying a HUGE heart-shaped box covered in red fabric and decorated with beads and bows and other obnoxious items. Then she was carrying it by a ribbon tied around the box. This was a SERIOUS box of chocolates. It was twice as big as her lap! It looked like some sort of prop they would use in a romantic comedy to emphasize the pathetic puppy-dog love of the female protagonist. I really wanted to take a picture. But, I restrained myself.

A few Seoul-ful thoughts

Hardy, harr, harr. I know it's cheesy...go ahead and groan. Here are some random things I saw and things I thought as I roamed about Namdaemun yesterday. Namdaemun is a giant indoor/outdoor market within walking distance of Colleen and Nathaniel's apt.
- I saw a young boy lopping off fish heads. I don't believe I've ever seen fish head lopping before.
- I saw some awesome displays of kimchi and chili peppers. That orangish-red color is so attractive to me. I don't know why. I wanted to ask the woman about the different kinds of chili, but alas, I don't speak any Korean.
- Apparently, it is perfectly acceptable for older women to push you out of the way here. I have a hard time accepting this.
- I also had an unidentified fried substance on a stick. It tasted kind of fishy. I think it was some sort of fish paste something with veggies.
Gee... that sounded really exciting, didn't it? Maybe I'll have something more exciting for you tomorrow.
Until then...

Hello from Korea!

I've finally crawled out from under my jetlag-induced haze enough to say "Helloooo from Korea!" The trip was, well, let's say... LONG!!! It was about 27 hours of travel from door to door and I got a little bonus layover in Tokyo that wasn't on my itinerary. I don't know how you can say it's one flight when it stops in Tokyo for 2 hours, but whatever. Regardless, after 4 flights, 3 states, 3 countries, and 1 district, I arrived safely in Seoul where my dear friends greeted me with welcoming signs. (In case I didn't recognize them after 6 transformational months in Seoul.) So, after some extreme sleepiness in the middle of the day, I think I am ready to go conquer Seoul on my own. I know absolutely no Korean so there will be a lot of pointing and grunting and smiling, I am sure.
Also, I've included a picture of some of the many kinds of kimchi... we went to the kimchi museum yesterday! I'm fairly certain that i will never be in another kimchi museum in all my life so it was totally worth it.

Redesign

I'm supposed to be packing, but I'm not. Shocker. Instead, I did a little redesign on the blog. Thoughts anyone?

I hereby promise to be less obsessed with football and my precious Steelers and return to the artsy, deep-thinking and frivolously-commenting girl you all know and love. At least until August.
Also, there may a brief hiatus in posting. I'm headed to Asia for a little R&R, but I'll post pics and such once I get there. But, for now, I MUST pack!!

More pictures and season confusion

As I was walking home tonight, I noticed crocuses as well as little-itty-bitty leave on a tree. DC is so confused. It's February!

Also, my pics are up on Flickr now.
More crazy pics from the Super bowl

Fun, fun, fun. We've decided that as responsible grown-ups, we should not drive to Pittsburgh for the Super Bowl. There is a big part of me that is sad that I am that responsible.

ONE FOR THE THUMB!!

I'm sure I'll blather on about this more tomorrow, but for now, I am completely exhausted so I will keep this to the essentials. This is the first time the Steelers won the Super Bowl since I've been old enough to remember. I've promised people all over the world pictures and I will post a link to all of them tomorrow, but for now two pics will have to do.
Congrats Steelers!!

Terrible towel update

I've just finished the shirt. It's lookin' good! Time to pack for tomorrow! Enjoy the game, yell loud and check back here for pics post-Super Bowl!

Go Steelers!!

Two interesting thoughts from the Post

- A cartoon picturing a psychiatry session has the following quote:
"So, you're saying I can either gouge out my soul and face my demons or keep havig short, passionate affairs with attractive, volatile women. Tough One."
funny
- In the review of Music from the Inside Out, the reviewer says this of music:
"It demands from those who make it essentially the same bargain that religious people must make with God: You submit and serve, in return for a deeper sense of participation in the sublime."
hmm... I need to let that steep for a while...perhaps I'll comment further later.

Even Phil is a Steelers fan

Today is a great Pennsylvania holiday - groundhog day. All Germans and Pennsylvanians unite for this tradition. (stop criticizing...just come along for the ride) What else do the citizens of Western PA have pride for? Why, the Pittsburgh Steelers, of course! Apparently, Knob Hill (Phil's home and observance spot) turned into a giant Steelers rally. Sweet! I love it!
Catch the fever!

Just in case you're not in the mood yet...or if you need to learn the lyrics... whichever!

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It's time!

Well, it's about time I get some Black and gold spirit! This is officially the Steelers version as you will note by the addition of pertinent links to the side. I've resisted the urge to add every site I want to read. However, a few random notes:

• The super bowl will be held in Detroit, Bettis' hometown, on the 36th day of the year - Bettis' number. Nice.
• Bettis got a key to Detroit today. This is the pic from the ceremony. Does anyone else find it odd that the mayor seems to dwarf Jerome? I mean, I know he's not all that tall, but he's a big dude. They must breed 'em big in Michigan.
  
• If you can overlook the serious error of mispronouncing his name, this is a fun Polamalu video.
• On a more personal note, the terrible towels arrived today. Super Bowl preparations are right on schedule!

kimchi!

In 10 days, I will be in Seoul, South Korea. Yippee! I've been a slacker in researching what I actually want to do so I finally took a few minutes tonight to find a few things of interest to me. I was thinking I would find palaces and performances and houses of worship that I might want to visit. But, what did I find? A Kimchi museum! Sweet! I'm totally checking that out! Where else could you find a kimchi museum? I promise lots of pickle-y pictures!

Falling Waters

I spent a big chunk of the weekend in a place called Falling Waters, WV. I was hoping for gorgeous countryside and great mountainous views, but it was dark going both to and fro. But, what was really a sight-to-see was the collection of beautiful people, not just attractive people (though there were one or two lookers), but people with amazing hearts and souls. I was in WV with somewhere over 100 people from my church. People that are involved in the ministries of the church on a leadership level. Anyways, it was totally encouraging for a multitude of reasons. But, something that is always so awesome for me is to watch other people have a God-experience. People are so beautifully complex and just having the chance to observe them is a privilege.

My need for loss prevention

I need a special task force on winter accessory loss prevention. So far this winter, I've lost 3 scarves, 2 hats and 2 pairs of gloves. At one point, I had a surplus of winter clothing, but now I actually am going to have to purchase some. Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.

Blank brain syndrome ?

One of my greatest frustrations in life is not expressing myself well the first time. I'm always second-guessing and clarifying and backpeddling. The limitations of language are so aggravating! I truly believe that there are not words for most thoughts and feelings. Ok, maybe thoughts because in my world, I think in sentences and often out loud. But, then there's another level of thoughts, feelings and emotions beyond that. I want so badly to be able to express those and I just can't do it... at least not the first time.

I say all of this because today I was frustrated with my inability to express myself: to others and most annoyingly, to myself. It was like having writer's block but in my brain. I wasn't sure how to sort out my own thoughts or even how I felt. It was so strange. I clumsily prayed on the way home and I'm feeling significantly better now. I cried and shook my fist at God about whatever it is that I can't figure out (I figure He already knew). I'm fairly certain he was just laughing.

Hopefully, there will be words on the blank page of my brain tomorrow.

One to go!

I don't even know what to write! The Steelers played a good game today and won in Detroit! I had so much fun watching it and celebrating! I'm excited for Bettis to finally get to the Super Bowl. And, to win it! I was too young to remember the last Pittsburgh Super Bowl victory.
Well, in last week's Steelers post, I alluded to a purchase of Terrible towels. Here's the deal: four years ago, I swore that the next time the Steelers made it to the Super Bowl, I would wear nothing but a terrible towel. Yeah, well, terrible towels aren't that big so it's going to take 3, but I'm going to do it. I promise to post pictures! (maybe even video if I can figure that out)
But for now, enjoy the picture of Bettis and please excuse my obnoxiousness for the next two weeks.

Pittsburgh's goin' to the Super Bowl!

Today's observations from the metro

1. It makes more sense to walk quickly on a moving escalator. You end up taking less steps to the top if you walk quicker. Is there a life lesson to be learned in there somewhere?
2. Special note to the guy "brushing" against me this evening in the packed rush hour train: lay off, it wasn't that crowded, nor am I that desperate or stupid.
3. Drunk people are funny. really funny.

Thank you MLK

Thank you Dr. Martin Luther King. Thank you for everything you did to foster a whole new understanding of equal rights in the USA. Thank you for your dedication, passion, and vision. Thanks, especially, though for a day off. Four day weeks are swell.

A great weekend!

What a great weekend! A good friend of mine that I've known for seemingly forever came in to visit for the weekend. We had such a great time! I swear we never shut up. It's so awesome to spend time with those people in life with whom you feel a deep and permanent connection. I know that no how long we go without talking or getting together that she will always, always understand me. She's always believed in me and even after watching me grow up, she still does! She may be a few years, well, okay, few decades older than me, but we totally get each other and there is something so comforting in spending time with a person like that. My soul truly feels better.
And, now I get to just sit and stare at the sunny sky and listen to great music in an apartment I love, but rarely get to spend time in during the day. Life is good.

The good news is that everyone's okay.

As with any native of Western Pennsylvania with even a tiny bit of black and gold in their blood, I'm just glad that no one's heart gave out during the game today. That was the craziest, wackiest game, or at least fourth quarter) I've seen in a long time. And, it wasn't even wacky because running backs were pretending to be quarterbacks (as our gadget-prone offense is wont to do). Apparently, even the refs were pulling for Indy. The pic is Ben making the game saving tackle...um, yeah... he's the quarterback... thank God someone taught him to tackle! Who'da thunk that the Steelers would take out Indy? Oh, wait... everyone in Steelers country.

Well, there's two to go. I'm ordering the extra terrible towels tomorrow.

Here we go, Steelers, here we go!!

Please comment responsibly.

Art for the art or art for the people

My co-worker pointed out an article in the Washington Post yesterday about the potential financial crisis for the Berlin opera companies. They are largely funded by the government and corporate sponsorship for the arts is virtually unheard of there. The point of the article was that the three companies may be facing cuts that affect the quality of their performances, the product, if you will. However, it was a more subtle point that caught my attention. One of the reasons they don't want to go to corporations or the public-at-large for funding is because they don't want to have to cater their programming to the public. Because so much of their money comes from the government, it is all about the advancement of the art and programming reflects the desires and abilities of the artists. They don't attempt to appease their audience. I think this is true in many European art centers (though I need to research this to be certain).

So, the question is, should art be for art's sake or for the people? I personally believe it should be both, but I also understand that a work of art often serves only one purpose or the other. I think it is the less common, but oh-so-valuable piece of art that feeds both the soul of the public and the soul of the artist.
Just some food for thought... there may be more on this to come...

Wildcard weekend

Well, we've got history to make. No sixth seed wildcard team has ever made it to the Super Bowl. Yeah, well, no baseball club ever came back from a three game deficit to win the world series, either, before last year's Red Sox. Jerome Bettis has been a Steeler since 1996 and hasn't played a Super Bowl yet... by his own admission, he's getting old. It's gotta happen this year! So, hold on to your hats (and scarves and gloves), Pittsburgh's coming through. First stop, Cincinnati.
Go Black and Gold!

And now, Pennsylvania, too...

First, a WWF star in the midwest. Then, the terminator in CA. Now, a former Steeler is running for governor in my homeland. Lynn Swann, owner of 4 super bowl rings, officially threw his hat into the ring today in PA. Man, I don't know what I think about that. I guess I have a lot of reading to do now. I mean I love the Steelers and all, but that doesn't mean that I would trust them to run the state. Oh, and he's calling his campaign team 88... he wore #88. That's a little cheesy.. .sorry, it is.

Oh wait... I'm not a resident anyways...I can't vote. Weird. Well, I guess I'll read anyways.

Validation

The Washington Post reviewer for Wicked agrees with me. Nice.

Review of Wicked at the Kennedy Center

Metro operator quote of the day

On my commute home this evening, the red-line operator seemed to think it necessary to fill all empty space with her voice. So, at every stop, she's telling the people on the platform that she has a full train load and not to overload the train. Well, when we stopped at Metro Center, she declared, "As you can see, I'm a little loaded here." I'm hoping she was actually sober and clean, but at least our train car got a good laugh out of it.

Happy New Year!

I'm home! I'm home, I'm home, I'm home! Aaah...nothing like my very own space!! It was a fun holiday, though. Always good to see the family and then I saw a bunch of friends I hadn't seen in nearly a year. But, it will be good to fall asleep in my own place tonight.

However, I wanted to wish everyone the best for this coming year! I'm a sucker for resolutions and, as usual, I made a whole list of 'em. Here's a few fit for public consumption:

• Explore 10 metro stops I've never checked out before.
• Read 5 non-fiction books about things I wonder about.
• Edit my thesis for publication.
• Learn a new sport.
  

Happy resolving! I'll keep you updated on my progress. (Don't hold your breath!)

Also, in other news, I got a digital camera for Christmas so there should be more illustrations from here on out!