A contemplative moment*

I have been very busy lately...in a good way, but still busy. It would be an overstatement to say that I feel out of control, but it is nearing that. There are certain things that I really want to do that I just can't seem to find time for. I realize that it is a matter of priorities and as long as spending time with people remains a top priority, other things are going to get pushed down on the totem pole. But, spending time with people is my priority and I think it is one of the most important things in life. That being said, I wish I didn't have to go to work so I had time to do some of the other things I want to do... like rework my thesis!! So, I decided to conduct a two-week survey of my time. I'm logging what I do everyday for 2 weeks and then I will analyze it and figure out where my time is being spent in percentages. Then, I will be able to evaluate it and make adjustments so that I am using my time in the best possible way for the moment.
*contemplative may be pronounced with emphasis on either the first or second syllable.

My week, musically

I am a lucky, lucky little girl and was privileged to attend several live performances this week. On Thursday, I heard the NSO play an Elgar piece, a newer piano concerto by Melinda Wagner and Rachmaninoff's Second Symphony. The Elgar was tolerable. I was definitely intrigued by the piano concerto. There were definitely moments of beauty. She used some incredible textures between instruments that happened really seamlessly, but there were other spots where she seemed to fall just short of a profound effect. And, of course, the Rachmaninoff is just gorgeous. Often, when I'm listening to a symphony, I get so focused on following the form throughout and picking up on all the details and essentially analyzing it in my brain that I don't allow it to move me. However, I was really tired and I was able to just listen and enjoy the beautiful sounds without over-intellectualizing it. It was just really nice. I wished I could have hit repeat and let it play again. I love going to the orchestra during the week...it's such a nice retreat from life. I feel secluded in the concert hall even though hundreds of other people (thousands, actually) are all around me.
Then, last night, I got comp tickets to Cyro Baptista and Beat the Donkey, presented by WPAS. I knew it had to be okay if it was presented by WPAS as they always have great performances. And, it was...but if only I could describe it. Well, I'll try. Envision Stomp meets BlueManGroup (minus the paint) meets psychodelic performance of the early 1970's. I felt like I should have imbibed prior to the performance for the ultimate effect. It was fun. Kind of weird to just sit there and watch, though. It seemed like it should have been in a venue where you could get up and dance and not feel silly or be stared at like the super-crunchy people dancing over on the side aisle. Fun, nonetheless.
Oh, the diversity of my musical experiences.

my inner-15-year-old

I'm not generally very girlie, nor big on the girl popster of the moment. However, I heard a song for the first time that I thought had great words. Then, I heard it again 5 minutes later. It's Natasha Bedingfield's Unwritten. It's basically the usual teenage angst, unwritten book theme, but I love it. And, honestly, it resonates me on a Spiritual level - take it for what it's worth. Check it out for yourself:


I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

It can only get better

So far today, I've:
- gotten up late
- forgotten my phone
- lost my gloves
- dropped my newspaper somewhere
- realized that the appointment I was late for isn't actually until tomorrow.

It surely MUST get better, right?

On an Upswing

This week has been a really great upswing. A week ago, I was sad and stressed and not looking forward to the week ahead. Tonight, though, I am ready to go conquer the world! Well, not conquer, really, but you get the idea. My apartment is sparkly clean and even has some sweet tulips decking it out. I spent the day shopping and cooking and cleaning...it was wonderful. And, then I had the added bonus of having a few friends over for great conversation and food and wine. It's part of my concerted effort to hang out with women. I even enjoyed myself! Fabulous!! I feel happy and optimistic and excited for a new week. It's amazing what a difference one's habitat makes!

Oh look, even my blog dressed up!

Isn't it pretty in green? (Shh... don't tell that it's been green forever)
Happy St. Paddy's Day! Here's some of the strangeness from my morning commute:

• Drunk people at 9:30am - priceless - Overheard on escalator, (in shouting voice) "No, we're not going home, we're going to another bar" Don't hear that before noon very often!
• People lined up around the block to get in McFadden's. Doesn't anyone have to go to class or work today?
• A sign in front of a bar&grill: "St. Patrick's Day and LINT specials"
  mmm....yummy... lint! Do you have any toejam or pocketfuzz to go with that?

Just a little randomness to get you through!

I'm making it public

Tomorrow night (Thursday), I'm not making any plans. I'm staying home. I'm doing laundry and cleaning and giving myself a facial and trying to figure out why God says not to fear and then says to fear Him. I'll let you know how that all works out for me.
I thought I'd put it here so it wasn't just a thought, but a statement.

I, hereby, solemnly swear to spend all of Thursday evening by myself. I swear not to be tempted to make plans or go out on the spur of the moment. I swear to clean my socks and my floors. I swear to be rejuvenated by time alone.

a couple questions

I just walked by a bookstore and saw a book in the window titled, Why My Wife Thinks I’m an Idiot.* This makes me want to ask this guy a bunch of questions, the first of which is, “Why did you marry a woman that thinks you’re an idiot?” And then I want to find his wife and ask her why she married a guy she thinks is an idiot. It’s a free country, folks…don’t marry the people you think are idiots. That’s my free word of advice for the day.

* Disclosure: I have not read this book, nor even the book jacket so the comments herein likely have absolutely nothing to do with the book, but everything to do with the title.

I think I missed the memo

-the one that announced the descendence of the tourists upon our city. I didn't realize it happened this early. I thought they started drifting in in late April. Apparently, they are arriving, though, since I stumbled over lost-looking people and got to listen to large groups of midwestern boys' adolescent conversations on the way home. Man, I sound like a jerk. I need a reason to like tourists, I guess. Well, I guess they do help improve my patience level...and they provide much needed comic relief sometimes so that's good, too.
Happy tourist season.

My new look

labels

The other night, a friend commented about my dislike of labels. He's right. I do dislike labels, or more accurately, their application to me. It's generally not the label that I dislike, though. It's the group with which I would be affiliated if I am to be considered one of them. I don't like to be considered a Republican nor a Democrat. I don't like to be thought of as uptown or downtown, nor religious or churchy or even artsy or a foodie...even though I like people that would apply each of those labels to themselves. His point, though, was that he could pin me down with a combination of labels that would fairly accurately represent me. My argument is that every single person is too unique to be chiseled out by labels. He has a good point, though. In the meantime, I prefer to be decidedly unlabeled.

Welcome a new blogger

My friend, Jaime, has entered the blogosphere. This is a girl I've been able to cry and scream and rejoice with for a good 8 years. Ladies and gentlemen, Jaime Ehrhardt.

my hiatus

I can't believe it's been a week since I've posted. I feel like such a slacker. On the other hand, though, it's been a busy week and in a bizarre way, it's been good to cut the electronic shackle. I left my phone at home two different days this week, too. On the other hand, none of it was really intentional. I was just less than inspired so I disappeared from the blogosphere. Hoping for witty discourse to come spilling forth soon.

Jet lag

Okay, jet lag is kicking my butt! Check out the time of this post. And, the scary thing is I've already been up for a half-hour. ack. I thought I'd be over it by now.

More pictures!

K, last round of Korea pics are up. Unfortunately, I must not have appeased the camera gods sufficiently because a bunch of them turned out fuzzy. The best ones are here in no particular order.

Thoughts from Mt. Soerak-San

I should warn you... This is a long one.
I always learn something when I travel. Not just the things one would expect to learn, either. I mean, yes, I've learned quite a bit about Korean culture, but that is really just the icing on the cake. I've learned a bit about myself and life in general. I tend to view life as a very linear process of chasing goals, reaching goals, setting new goals and starting all over. These goals aren't necessarily steps in a row leading up to a culminating accomplishment, but more often lots of little accomplishments... hence, the goal cycle. However, they do seem to be more about me and the advancement of me than the advancement of others or even enrichment through the journey. That really saddens me. After all, I believe that wound around the core of it all should be just that: relationship and the journey through life. Perhaps I am ready to reconsider the shape of my life. Perhaps it is possible to have a job that not only pays the rent and allows you to fulfill part of your life-mission, but also gives you the flexibility to enjoy the journey a bit more.
This mini-epiphany also affects the way I approach romantic relationships. I know I don't often broach the subject on here, but this just wants to come pouring it out so here it is. Maybe I'm too linear in those relationships, too. In the past, I've frequently met a guy, dated a guy, evaluated whether or not I would be willing to spend my life with said guy and then promptly ditched him. I feel this incredible social pressure to "hurry up and find someone", but you know what? My life doesn't have to look like everyone else's. I need to stop planning my life for optimal marrying potential and plan my life for optimal growth and relational potential. And, if that means that I spend time traveling or living in places that are curious to me rather than remaining in my safe space waiting for the supposed "right life" to happen to me, then so be it.
So, what's the moral of the story? The mountain air has caused me to consider viewing my life from a slightly different angle. Hmm... we'll see what comes of it. Also, pictures of the gorgeous mountainscape coming soon.

Pictures from Seoul!

Here's a few shots from my first-ever week in Asia. Enjoy.

New Year's Resolution update

At the beginning of the year, I posted a few of my resolutions including reading five non-fiction books about things I wonder about. So, I read one. I guess that puts me vaguely on-track for five. I've got 10 months to go to do the other four. Anyways, I read David McCullough's The Johnstown Flood. I enjoyed it, largely because I grew up in the area and had a pre-existing familiarity of the subject, the area and the names. I suspect that I would have given up halfway through if it was the Portland, OR flood or some such thing. Regardless, though, it gave me reason to think about some things, particularly the importance of being aware of collective repercussions of individual actions. The flood was most likely a preventable tragedy, but no individual had enough conviction about the state of the dam to actually fix it. Of course, if they had known there would be such suffering as a result, then many people would probably have taken a different course of action. Regardless, it is an interesting book. One down...four to go.

I've been tagged

Thanks to Jonathan, I must now enter the next level of chain letters... the tag.

Four Jobs I've Had
Server
Piano Teacher
Trader Joe's Crew Member
Hotel Maid

Four Movies I can watch over and over
Black Sheep
Shawshank Redemption
Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion
Does the Steelers/Indy playoff game count?

Four Places I've Lived
San Francisco
Winona Lake, IN
Des Moines, IA
Philadelphia

Four Shows I like to watch
(Disclaimer: I don't own a tv)
Design on a Dime
West Wing
Will and Grace
NFL

Four Foods I like
Olives
Mozzarella
Couscous (hmm... I'm starting to see a pattern here)
artichokes

Four Websites I visit daily
NYTimes
WPAS
Steelers.com (only during the season, I swear!)
My friends' blogs

Four Things I want to do before I die
Be published
Get a PhD
Be trilingual
Have a closer relationship with my nieces

Four People I'm Tagging
Dennis
Tia
Colleen
Jaime (This is a really good excuse for you to start blogging...don't act like you don't send around those chain e-mails)

Retroactive Valentine post

In Korea, only the girls give boys candy and such on Feb. 14. Then, there is a separate day for the boys to reciprocate (Mar. 14, I think). Anyways, I was on the subway yesterday and there was this little Korean girl, well, woman...she was roughly my age, but I'd like to think of myself as a girl. Regardless, there was a girl carrying a HUGE heart-shaped box covered in red fabric and decorated with beads and bows and other obnoxious items. Then she was carrying it by a ribbon tied around the box. This was a SERIOUS box of chocolates. It was twice as big as her lap! It looked like some sort of prop they would use in a romantic comedy to emphasize the pathetic puppy-dog love of the female protagonist. I really wanted to take a picture. But, I restrained myself.