Weekends at home always present me with mixed emotions. Nostalgia, longing for natural beauty wonder about what it would be like to live around family, annoyance with the bizarro accent (and annoyance with the fact that even though I grew up there, I cannot duplicate it), frustration with the general pace of life. But, then once I slow down enough to be inside the life instead of watching them live as I whiz by, the nostalgia grows and I have fantasies about moving back and opening music studios and a great cafe and going home at night to pick fresh vegetables out of my garden and grilling them on the huge patio on the back of my house that I could actually afford. And, then I think I'm crazy that I would just go nuts and I dismiss it all. The fantasy becomes more and more detailed every time I go home, though. This time, it involved me becoming a regular at a couple good restaurants within 30-minutes' drive and finding a church that would work for me.
But, I digress...
I actually just wanted to check in and post that I was glad I was able to spend a few days with my parents. They are having a bit of a rough time and although they didn't let me see their emotion, I know this is hard for them and they feel a lot of responsibility to care for Chris and Andy (the neighbors). In other news, my father built this really cool fire pit and we sat out there around a fire on Friday night and roasted marshmallows and he told me about his trips to Montana. It was soo good. Anything that gets my father telling stories is cool. Just one question, why no firepit when I was at home? That would have been awesome. Anyways, I was glad I got home.
It also gave me a chance to get inside my head... I have a tendency to get very "thinky" when I'm at home. I was able to get through another layer of processing. I still don't know how this will all shake out, but I'm getting somewhere with the processing, I think.
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