People are funny

I love people
until they disappoint me or
display an annoying idiosyncrasy or
assert their own free will
when I don't want to grant it

I want people to need me
until my mood doesn't match their need or
their mood doesn't match my need or
I feel smothered
when I'm actually looking for fresh air

I want to care about people
until that means inconveniencing me or
making me feel things I don't want to feel or
making me think things I don't want to think
when all I really wanted was to hug someone

I want to be admired
until I have to live up to someone's expectation or
exceed their expectation or
impress someone new and all of a sudden
I'm all alone with my independence

I want to spin around with my arms spread wide
until I feel nothing at all and
I feel everything
all at the same time

I want to fall asleep on the diagonal using all of the pillows
I want to fall asleep feeling him right beside me
I want to wake up alone everyday
I never want to wake up alone again