More weekend thinkings

There are lots of things that I wish I could do every day or most days, but alas, my schedule is just not conducive to that. Other things (like work and MBA) kind of get in the way. If I could I would do the following things most or every day:

• read scripture
• play flute
• work out
• cook

I played flute several times this weekend. It was so so very good. This marked a break in the longest playing hiatus yet. I played two weddings in 2008 and I honestly can't remember if I've played at all since then! I definitely felt some fear getting the instrument out of its case. I was afraid that I wouldn't remember how to play.. that I would sound so awful that I wouldn't want to play anymore...that my technical ability would be so far gone that it would just be ultimately too frustrating. I can't quite explain how I felt when I started playing. I put Mia (that's my flute's name) together and started with some long tone exercises just to warm up a little. I was nearly overcome with emotion. I fought back the tears, but they were close. It was beautiful. Such a warm, beautiful sound that was so familiar... like someone's voice you haven't heard for years. Comforting, intimate, mine. This may sound corny, but I felt whole again.

It feels so good to be playing again. Right now, I'm not sure exactly where this will go. If I'll find an ensemble to play with, start playing at church again, build a teaching studio, or what. But, I absolutely can't stop playing. This is part of who I am and I never want to lose it again.