Christmas Letter Season

It's that time again. You know it well: Christmas Letter Season. I was always vaguely aware of the existence of this season, but it's only been in the last few years that my awareness has grown acute and personal. It seems that as my friends have begun acquiring spouses, pets, children, mortgages and careers, they have also acquired a desire to share their lives with their rolodex once a year, in the form of a Christmas Letter. And, so, I thought that perhaps I should share a bit of my life with you as well. However, I will follow the sentiment of a friend of mine who stated in her letter, "2008 has been a rich year filled with ups and downs and simple memories made in the routine of life." Though I was elated that according to the content of the letter, they had actually only had ups, I was just a wee bit sad that it didn't actually share the downs with me. And, so, for you, dear reader -- My Reality Christmas Letter. May it leave you with tears and joy and laughter.

Dear family and friends and foes,
I can hardly believe it's Christmas already! I'm nowhere near "ready" whatever that is, my gift list is nonexistent and my decorations are still firmly in their tupperware bin. But, I noticed the other day that the wreaths are up in Union Station so it MUST be Christmas. I know that no one really likes reading these so I will make it easier for you by skipping the flowery droll and giving you my year in bullet points.

• Last Christmas, I started dating Chris. Sometime in February, I fell in love. By summer, I wasn't sure. I broke up with the absolute love of my life in October. September-November was a living hell. I cried all the time. I'm doing better now, but it's still hard. I still love him and don't know what to do with that. It's very confusing. Thanks for asking.
  
• The job I had at the beginning of the year was kinda crappy so I quit in March. I was unemployed for four months. I found a job in July that I really like. I now do marketing for the Center for the Arts at George Mason University. The commute is 3 hours/day and that sucks.
• The apartment I lived in last year had roaches and water damage. The building management didn't seem to care. So, while I was unemployed, we had to move. We found a house that is big and nice. The problem, of course, is that it's big. Taking care of a yard is no fun. Plus, it's hot as hell here in the summer and who wants to mow? At least it's close to the metro. And, no roaches.
  
• My brother and sister-in-law have had a great year at their church. Unfortunately, finances are a bitch and they lost their house. That totally sucks. Their son is pretty much the cutest thing on earth, though.
• Mom and dad and my other brother and his family seem to be doing well, though.
  
• I'm still pro-God.
• My good friend Amy moved away, got married and knocked-up (in that order). She's psyched.
  
• In the next year, I plan to implement my secret plan to take over my workplace and then start pursuing my MBA. That will take a long time, but it's free so that's cool. Too bad I have to take the GMAT.

Thanks for reading. Until next year, have a merry and roach-free year!
Hyla

Overheard in the kitchen

Maybe our Saturday mail service was discontinued because we voted Republican.

smarties

When I was a child, I sorted smarties by color and stacked them. Then, I ate from the tallest stacks until all of the stacks had an equal number of smarties.

Sometimes, I still do.

I love smarties.

Quote of the Day:

Guy sitting at light in DC to me (in Steelers hat):
"You're too pretty to be a Steelers fan!"

Attacked?

Maybe I'm just being oversensitive. Maybe I'm hug-deprived. Maybe it's an emotional re-allocation because I'm not dealing with my breakup. Maybe I'm just hyper-sensitive because it's election time in DC and of all the times I hate, I hate election time the most. Whatever the cause, I'm feeling attacked today. Maybe I'm just taking purely benign statements personally. Or, maybe people are just being borderline mean to me. And, it's about really stupid stuff, too. I mean, who cares if someone else mislabels a neighborhood low-income? Who cares? Who cares if someone thinks I'm fat? It shouldn't matter. But, it does. And, so, I will just stay in my little shell (aka office) and wait for it to be 5. It can't be 5 soon enough.

Ghost or Witch?

Well, Halloween is creeeping up on us so the inevitable question will be raised. What will you be for Halloween? This year, my lovely mother is coming to visit me for Halloweekend so I get out of deciding which parties to go to and can just hang out with her instead. However, this brings to mind my experience of Halloween as a child.
My mother was not ever very big on Halloween in general. We didn't do much in the way of trick-or-treating since our neighbors were all about a quarter-mile apart and necessitated driving to each house. Not really the traditional Halloween method. Regardless, as a kid in a public school, it's a requirement to dress up. And, so, each year, a week or so before Halloween, my mom would ask me, "So, whaddya wanna be this year? A ghost or a witch?" The answer to this question was highly dependent on what last year's answer was. I mean, I wouldn't want to be a ghost two years in a row! We would march up to the attic and retrieve the white pillowcase already outfitted with eyes and a mouth or the witch hat and any of several witch hair options and that would be that. And, so that's how it came to be that Hyla always dressed as a ghost or a witch or a witch or a ghost.
What will YOU be for Halloween?
(Warning: The preceding story could possibly have flourished and developed over the years.)

Oh Rachie (pronounced Rocky), how I love thee

(Rachie as in Rachmaninoff, of course)
Last night, I took an orchestra virgin to the NSO (and for some Rach nonetheless!). It was awesome. I mean the concert was fair enough and everything, but the experience of introducing someone to live classical music for the first time... that's awesome. My friend is fairly stoic so she didn't say too much, but I could just see her brain taking in all the new sights and sounds and strange procedures. I don't know that much about her upbringing other than that she grew up mostly in Nigeria, but everything seemed really new to her. I even identified a bunch of the instruments for her and everything. Anyways, it was cool. That's me. Wiping out orchestra virginity one person at a time.

The "S" word

Last night, I watched Baby Mama with Amy (yup, Washington Amy -- in Washington!) and one little snippet of dialog really caught my attention.
"Being single is NOT an alternative lifestyle"
"It is when you're 37!"
Of course, this was in the midst of lots of humorously biting dialog about the main character being career-driven at the expense of her personal life, yada, yada. But, I just couldn't get this line out of my head. It resonates with me... maybe with a dull ringing in the pit of my stomach.
There was a time, not so long ago, that I was really happy to be single. But, as I looked down that path of being single, it didn't look very worn. It looks indefinite and a little lonely. It looks like a place of great reward if the pioneering is successful, but if it's not, then it looks a little scary.
And, I realized recently that one of the reasons it looks so scary is because in my world, being single is not the norm nor the goal. And, if I was to be single, then I think my path may look a little different from others. It affords me the time to pour myself into my career and overcommitment at church and excessive education, yes. But, what about other things in my life? I've wanted to adopt for a long time. I originally thought that meant falling in love with a man who also wants to adopt and then naturally going through that process. But, what if I'm single? Well, guess what? I still want to adopt! I still want someone to pour my life into. I still want someone to be responsible for and to teach and inspire. I want to experience family as an adult. I wonder, though, what people would think. Would people smile to my face, but say disparaging things behind my back or feel sorry for me?
Oh, I don't know... I think I got way off on a rabbit trail. The point is that it upsets me that in my little corner of the world, I think being single really is viewed as an alternative lifestyle. And, not alternative as in A vs. B, but as in good versus subpar. As a girl in the "B" world or "subpar" world or (gasp!) single world, I wonder how it seems so easy for some people. A lot of people seem to date one or two people, fall in love and everything lines up. Before you know it, they're in love, engaged, and married with a puppy and a spare bedroom. I don't know that world. I know a world where there have been more men in my life than I care to count. I live in a world where I fell madly and deeply in love with a man and for some reason couldn't seem to make it work. I live in a world where I don't understand how something that seems so natural is so very very difficult for me. I just don't understand.

30.5 and other sundry thoughts from a Friday

Today, I am 30.5 years old. Yep! It's my half birthday! I know I'm way too old to celebrate half birthdays, but I do anyways so whatever. Here's me at 30.5 years of age. Also, I had a raging nightmare last night that one of my good friends died. I was crying out loud, sobbing actually. I could hear myself crying, but I couldn't wake up enough to make myself stop. My eyes were all pasty and gross when I finally woke up.

In almost exactly 24 hours, I will be claiming a hug from Amy! Yay! This makes me thankful for airplanes, aeroscience, good friends, zipcars (to get me to the airport), and muffins (that's a hint, Amy).

appley goodness

So, we went apple picking this weekend. It was a good time. Mostly. I mean, I loved hanging out with my friends and everything. I just can't get over my general displeasure for picking fruits and vegetables, though. I mean, I don't mind going out and gathering a few things for dinner from the garden. Or, digging potatoes. I really like digging potatoes! That's so fun because they're totally hidden so it's like going potato hunting. Anyways, I digress. The point is that I had fun with some apple-picking cronies this weekend. (Meredith posted some pics here.)
And, so last night, I had some apples to use. So, what else? The apple-themed dinner. I had baked chicken and apples with cranberry chutney, stuffing with apples and apple crisp. Once again, my cooking skills outshine my baking skills. Seriously, apple crisp is supposed to be the easiest dessert on the planet, but I wasn't 100% happy with it. It tastes really good, but I don't like the way it looks. Oh well. I should really just stick to cooking. Really.
Anyways, that's all. Just a little apple tale.

Surplus!

I've been slowly trying to clean up my space and make it my own here in the office. That meant getting rid of one file cabinet and a gargantuan bookcase. However, now I have need for a smaller bookcase and a bulletin board. So, I decided to take a fieldtrip... to surplus! Surplus, the fabled land where computers and office furniture goes to die, but gets one last chance to be claimed by employees like me looking to repurpose it. I had decided in my brain that surplus was going to be beyond my wildest dreams, filled with awesome furniture, random campus extras and things that would generally make me happy. Well, guess what. It's not. It's not filled with fun things. It's just a bunch of dead desks and filing cabinets and a giant computer graveyard. It's a very sad place, actually, filled with the smell of office carnage and an aura of "all washed up". The feeling of glory days gone by and a longing for former usefulness was almost palpable. I wanted to save them all. I wanted to tell every computer that it had done a good job, that it did the best it could with the limited ram and memory it was given, that we were proud of it, but I knew that the next truck to the state auction was really the best place for it. And, so, I came away empty handed, leaving behind the computers, the chairs, the televisions to go on to their next life.

I'm going to try NOT to worship google

They did it! They finally did it!
I've been complaining for years about how someone needs to develop a function to prevent forgotten attachments on emails. You know what I mean. You carefully craft an email to a new contact with some sort of business idea, detail the contents of the attached proposal and then promptly hit send. Two seconds later, you realize that you've forgotten to include the attachment and about 4 seconds after that are fully convinced that that business deal will never go through. So, I've been saying seemingly forever that Google (gmail) or Outlook should develop a little pop-up reminder function if it detects the word attach in any of its forms in the email to say, "Well, pardon me, super-fast-email-writer, but I believe you may have forgotten an attachment." And, by gum, Google did it! Unfortunately, I won't be gaining any financial stature for my idea, but I'm just happy to get to use the feature. It's apparently still in its testing phase, but if this provides you with even a fraction of the excitement it provides me, you should hop right over to your gmail settings, go to the labs tab and enable it (and maybe a few other fun new features, too!).
Attach without fear, my friends. Attach without fear!

Reconnecting

Wow. It's been a while. I can't believe it's already October. And, yet a part of me is so glad that it is. I do love the fall and want to embrace this month for all that it is. Anyways, I've been very irregular in my posting lately. I feel like my life is evolving very quickly and it's been all I can do to keep up with it. I have so many thoughts in my head and I'm not sure which ones are most important to share right now. So, I will resort to bullets (god, my coworkers must hate me).

• I am taking this fall to recharge and recalibrate. I was feeling a little worn out after finding a new place to live, a new job and working on several volunteer efforts this summer. Not to mention trying to steer myself through the most serious relationship I've ever attempted. I'm less social than usual in an effort to make sure my focus is in the right place. I say that God is the most important thing in my life, but I was living my life as though other people were. And, that's not a bad thing to focus on, but I wasn't being true to myself or my God. So, I'm taking this fall to read a lot of scripture, memorize some scripture, write, meditate, pray and generally recalibrate.
• On a smaller scale, I decided to fast this week in order to try to get my head wrapped around some things in my life. I will stay cryptic on this one, but I'm sure there will be more to follow in coming days. The current update, though, is that I am not good at fasting. I like eating. :)
• I've suddenly gotten the home-ownership bug. Ok, more accurately, I've gotten the "want to live in a place that feels like home and I can make exactly the way I want it to be" bug. There are a few obstacles in my way, though. So, I've started climbing over and around them. One is my credit card debt, which I just transferred to a 0%apr card so I can knock that out in the next year. (Thanks for the kick in the pants on that one from Colleen.) Another is the whole down-payment issue. I will have to apply for lots of homebuyers' assistance, but in DC, there is a fair amount available (hopefully, that remains the case for a year or so until I am ready to buy).
  
• Also, the Steelers have a severe running-back shortage. Well, had. They just signed Russell and Davenport back on. I really liked Davenport so I'm glad to have "Naj" back. The boys are really injury-plagued this year... running backs, Hampton, Kiesel. In spite of it, I'm kind of excited to see what the game will be like this week with a short week and different personnel.

K - enough rambling. I'll try to stay more connected!

Overheard in the Office:

'Maybe I should institute a rule of "no shelf punching"'

Mayyybeee.

I have a drill

and I know how to use it!
I reminded myself that this is actually true today. The fruit of my labors? A laundry shelf holding up all of our detergents, just high enough to avoid major head injuries, but low enough that Heather can reach them. Excellent! My home-improvement project of the week, I guess.
A good week to all.

Weekend of recovery

This is the first of what I hope is many weekends to detox and refocus. I just need to take some serious time to focus on the very most important things in life. And, so, this weekend, I didn't venture too far from home. I did manage to log in a few fun moments:

• Friday night, Chris and I spent two hours walking around the National Cathedral. It was beautiful and a moment of reflecting and in a way, an exercise of refocusing. (Warning: don't go to the cathedral with Chris unless you want a quiz about the characters and stories portrayed on the frescos and iron gates. If you are me, you think that was all pretty cool and love having someone like Chris to share it with.)
• Yesterday, I just got my space cleaned up. I feel so much better when my space is in order.
  
• Today, the lawn got a haircut. I did Phase 1 (of 309?) of yard work to try to get this lawn looking better.
  
• Then, a yummy brunch at Domku with two of my favoritest people.
• My nose got readorned!
• A piercing pain withstanding reward of frozen yogurt followed by a Steelers game!

A great weekend, all around. I'm feeling good and ready to head back to work for the week.

Holding hands with a strange man

Ok, so it wasn't so much a strange man as a stranger man. Allow me to explain.
I had a somewhat traumatic experience on the way to work this morning. I was reading and deep in thought on the metro. Generally, I look up at each metro stop to see where we are, monitor our progress, yada yada. So, I was doing that and apparently, I missed a stop or two because when I looked up, it was Vienna (my stop). I leapt out of my seat to try to sneak out the door before it closed, but I was too late. Now, generally, missing your metro stop isn't the worst thing in the world. You just get off at the next stop and come back. However! My stop is the last stop on the line. Usually, the train sits there for a few minutes and then turns around and heads back into the city. But, not this morning. Oh no! It pulled away toward the train yard. I started getting a little scared so I hit the red button on the emergency box. I said, "I'm still on here! I forgot to get off!" I could hear him, but I don't think he could hear me because he just kept saying, "Hello? Hello?" With visions of me hungry and hot and tired, waiting for hours to be rescued from a metro train car, I starting freaking out a little more and dialed 411 in an attempt to reach WMATA and inform them of my predicament. Fortunately, before I got through that nightmare of a phone conversation, the conductor came back through the train.
"Whatcha doin?" he called down to me.
In an attempt to sound more relaxed than my actual frantic state, I mustered a smile and said, "I forgot to get off the train! I just wasn't paying attention. I'm sorry. What do we need to do?"
He said, "Well, I'm supposed to call my supervisor, but that will take forever. Here. Follow me."
We went through two train cars to the end and he opened the door to the outside world and climbed down onto the tracks. He looked up at me and said, "Do you think you can climb down like I just did?"
"Yeah, I can."
"You a city girl or a country girl?"
"Definitely a country girl," I said as I climbed down in an awkward, long-legged fashion.
Once I got down to the tracks, I looked up at him. He took off his glove, grabbed my hand and said, "Come on. I'll be your protector. Just walk on the ties."
He led me up to the platform and told me to have a good day.
Oh goodness! How embarrassing! At least I didn't get stuck on the train, I guess!

Load up the Hope

So, I've been working as a volunteer on a project for the last few months called Convoy of Hope. (I think the name is funny... like we're rollin' through the city with tankers ready to attack with hope) Anyways, it's finally happening this weekend. It should be good stuff (barring torrential downpours!). We'll be giving away meals, groceries, health services, haircuts, resume services, prayers plus providing kids and adults entertainment and probably more stuff that I forgot! We're expecting 10,000 people and we're pretty excited about it. You can read more about it here. If it strikes your fancy, let me know cuz we could still use volunteers Thursday, Friday and definitely Saturday.
So, that's what's been swallowing me up lately. Bring on the hope!

30-year olds go to the beach

Yup, that's us. We're thirty and we were rockin' the beach. Well, we rocked it for the first two sunny days and then we rocked the beach house. We did, however, check out some go-karts, world's smallest skee-ball lanes and the sand dunes. Most activities ended in rain, but alas, we had fun anyways. Lots of pictures are up on my flickr. (My personal favorite was the mongolian wrestling match. Colleen arose victorious again.) Yay for beachy fun!
Now, I'm in PA rockin' the family time. More news and pics soon.

For cuteness sakes...

Three eons ago, I promised to upload some pictures from a weekend home. I finally got a chance to look at them and really only two of them are blog-worthy. So, here they are.
The incredible cuteness of Jan's son, Braden followed by the tree fashioned after a 5-year-old's artwork.

Today I kind of want to:

cry, but the tears don't want to come

clean, but I don't have the energy

either kiss my boyfriend or break up with him, but I can't reach him and breaking up would just be silly

run away, but it is too hot to run anywhere tonight

be alone, but it is so lonely alone

Long lost blogger found!

Sorry y'all! I hate it when people don't update their blogs forever (yes, Kent, I'm lookin' at you) so I'm sorry I've been incommunicado for a while. However, I started my new job this week! So far, so good. The people all seem really great and I think I'll really enjoy the work, too. Yay for employment! The commute is, indeed, very long, but we'll get that figured out, too.
Hmm... guess I don't have much to say. Sorry to dissapoint.
More soon, I'm sure.

Mediterranean yumminess!

After spending the weekend in Ebensburg (pics to come!), I raced back home and quickly assembled a dinner that started out billed as a Greek feast, but really ended up more as Mediterranean feast. It was my first try at Spanakopita (Greek spinach pie) which didn't turn out too badly even though I forgot to drain the excess moisture from the spinach. All of the other things were pretty tried and true or purchased. Since I wasn't home all weekend, I cheated on the hummus and baba ganoush and tzatziki and dolmas. I had intended to make them all from scratch, but there just wasn't time. Regardless, everyone seemed to like them and it went swimmingly!
Chris went to work as presentation stylist so everything looked gorgeous and then I put him in charge of the meat. There are two things I'm not good at cooking: meat and dessert. I love his creativity and meticulousness. I tease him about, but I actually love it. We should put together an intimate dinner party some time. I think we would create a beautiful meal and it would be an amazing experience... nothing would be overlooked. Perfect food, drinks, lighting, sights, sounds and smells would all be covered. Between the two of us, we could totally do that. hmmm....
But, I digress. The dinner was awesome and one of the highlights was that my friend Amanda (from back home) showed up. She is one of my favoritest people and she probably doesn't know it, but I kind of worship her. I would totally be her groupie if it was acceptable to be a groupie for any given individual. So, it was good to get to see her a little last night and let some of her awesomeness rub off on my home! Yay for Amanda living in the area!
Ok, enough effusiveness. Back to work! Pics from the weekend soon.

How to get from DC to Ebensburg

Find friend with car. Wait for friend's husband. Get in car with said friend and husband. Drive in the general northern direction. Then:

Get bored and take self-portrait.

Run into stand-still traffic.

Make faces as appropriate while stuck in traffic:
"I hate traffic!"

"I will move the cars with my powers of snark."
"What? An alternate route!?"


"Which way should we go?"

(Cars blocking our way to Ebensburg stand still.)

"I wish I had some grapes."

Celebrate traffic victory with world's worst self-portrait.

#300

This is post #300. I had intended to do some sort of blog highlights or something profound for post #300, but it just snuck up on me so I will post what I came here this morning to post. It is completely random and in reality, is probably the perfect #300 post because it is exactly representative of my blogging. Random, fun and a little inane. And so, with no further ado: Post #300.

12 ounces of difference
I've been attending a small group on Thursday mornings this summer. As you may recall from earlier posts, I do not love mornings. However, I really like this group so I've gotten myself out of bed ridiculously early every Thursday to make it to the meetings. Because I have completed this monumentous task so valiantly, I reward myself with a few little hashbrowns and a soda from the cafeteria before work. Now, ordinarily, when I get soda from the cafeteria, I get the 20oz cup... it's usually in the afternoon and 20 oz is plenty enough. But, this morning, I thought, "Well, that's silly! I should just get the 32 oz drink. It's only 20 cents more and it'll get me through more of the day. Good job, self! Brilliant!" And, then, I realized why I don't get the extra 12 ounces. I felt like such a glutton carrying it back to the office. I perceive the 20 oz size to be perfectly socially acceptable, but carrying that wide-mouthed 32 oz cup felt excessive. Never mind the fact that it's filled with the calorie-free nectar of the gods. In my world, that extra 12 ounces sent me from responsible soda partaker to fat girl with an addiction to Super-duper-biggiesize-quencher-big gulp drinks. From now on, I think I'll forgo the frugalness and have my socially acceptable 20oz beverage.

In Short

I know I haven't posted for a week and it's been a great, eventful week, too. So, I will present my news in brief.

Amy's Wedding in California
It was awesome. I hadn't seen Amy since she moved 6 months ago so I was SO excited to see her. I was prepared, though, to not spend that much time with her since she was the bride and brides are generally busy, busy. However, I got to be Keeper-of-the-Bride which meant that I was basically with her 24/7 for the 3 days I was there. I made sure she was fed and watered and relatively calm (on the Amy scale of calmness). And, as an extra bonus, this meant that I got to spend a lot of time with her! Priceless! It was awesome. With the exception of a flutist that could just barely hold it together during the processional, the wedding was great and the pictures are awesome. Congrats Amy Doolittle Bushatz! And, thanks for letting me be a part of your day.

Rent at Wolf Trap
Tara is hard to surprise. I don't even know for sure if she likes surprises or not. She says she does, but any time I've tried to surprise her, it hasn't worked. So, this year, to celebrate the passing of June (NOT a birthday, I assure you), Colleen and I put together a pseudo-surprise. We reserved her for a certain day and told her how to dress and then picked her up without her knowing where we were going. We packed a great little picnic and went to Wolf Trap to see Rent. The company, the food, the weather, the surroundings were all lovely. Rent? Well, I could take or leave that. I hadn't seen it before and though I suspect that this was a performance well below par, I doubt I will make an effort to see it again. I don't call art offensive. Ever. Hovering on the line of appropriate-ness? yeah, I think so. I think this is the first time I've ever said this about any sort of art. Does this make me a prude? Geesh, I hope not. I really do appreciate the social causes the work takes up... I really do. I think that is one of the great uses for art, which is kind of a theme in Rent anyways. I just could have had the lewd dialed down a notch. (Whoa! Is this me writing this?) Oh god, I hope I'm not turning into an old fuddy-duddy.

A Surprise Holiday
I get paid for Friday! Yippee! As a temp, I don't usually get paid for holidays, but I must have accumulated enough hours or something so I get the holiday paid! That was a GREAT surprise!

20 Reasons Why Jeni Lausch Is Awesome

1. She let Tara and I crash her apartment this weekend on our whirlwind trip to NY.
2. She adopts disabled dogs.
3. She moved to NY purely because she wanted to and made it work for her.
4. She has an amazing laugh.
5. She is super funny. (which is why #4 is so important)
6. She has overcome relationship "stuff" and allowed herself to fall in love with her boyfriend, Tim, who she's now successfully been with for 3 years.
7. She travels all over God's green earth... most recently to Cuba.
8. She grows flowers and plants and peppers and lettuce on her windowsills and fire escape.
9. She gets the most adorable sad-face when she realizes the squirrels have eaten her flowers and peppers from the fire escape.
10. Most of her art was done by her or her boyfriend.
11. She is generous.
12. She has fresh spices on her refrigerator that don't go bad because she cooks all the time.
13. She knits.
14. She crochets...
15. ... without a pattern.
16. She loves NY, but plans regular camping trips because she misses Montana and Washington and Lousiana.
17. She let her boyfriend put a British flag toilet lid in their bathroom.
18. She's one of those people that is easy to reconnect with even if we haven't talked for months. (or years!)
19. Her life motto is "everything is possible"
20. She is mad-creative. (She and her boyfriend made some sort of lego-people costumes for Halloween last year. impressive and borderline- crazy!)

Some quotes from Jeni: (paraphrase by me)

"If you don't have enough money to both eat and drink, order a drink that comes with a snack. You can get a whole little salad with a Bloody Mary!"

"Everywhere I go, I collect people. It's kind of like collecting bugs... just stick a little pin through them and put them in the collection."

I could go on and on, but I suppose this is sufficient. All this to say that it was so good to see her this weekend! She is one of my favorite people and I am so honored to have her in my "collection". She inspires me.

Whirlwind Weekend

I had a great, and very busy, weekend -- I thought I'd share a little of it here. I fear this post will get very, very long and so I will give some subdivisions rather than post 3 or 4 separate posts.

New York
I am one of those people that just isn't particularly fond of New York. And, honestly, that's a little weird because I've never had a particular dislike for any other big city. Philly, San Francisco, Toronto, London, Paris, Chicago... yup... like 'em all. Just not so crazy about New York. I think I just feel overstimulated there. I'm not sure. Regardless, my 24 hours in New York this weekend was just exactly enough. As soon as I heard that Sunday in the Park with George was being revived on Broadway, I knew I absolutely had to go. However, shortly after I found out about it, I decided to quit my job so I put it on hold for a while in the name of fiscal responsibility. Recently, though, I found out that the show is closing at the end of the month so I had to go this weekend or miss my chance for who-knows-how-many years. And so, my 24 hours in New York complete with cheap bus ride, air mattress in a friend's apartment and yummy Thai food for mere dollars. Ah - New York on the cheap! Thanks to Tara for putting up with my poverty-stricken mode of travel.

My obsession with Sunday in the Park with George
If you know me well, you know I'm not actually a huge fan of the musical genre in general. In fact, I'm quite the classical music snob and have been known to crack jokes on many-a-broadway-show. Sequins, chorus lines, unnecessary belting and jazz hands... just ain't my thing. But, I have been obsessed with Sunday for years. When I was still in high school, my friend Tara gave me a recording of Sunday in the Park with George. I'm not entirely sure why. My recollection is that I was first obsessed with Georges Seurat and his painting on which this musical is based. I fear, however, that it could have been the musical that inspired my obsession with the painting (how embarassing!). Either way, I listened to that CD over and over in my room at home, in my many college dorms and each of my apartments for the last 13 years or so. I had every word of the soundtrack memorized by the time I left for college. Today, it remains my #1 go-to CD for housecleaning.
In college, I visited the Seurat painting several times in Chicago and declared it my favorite painting. In fact, it was probably this painting that inspired my love of impressionist art in general (that has more recently faded, but I'm still fascinated by the techniques). I loved standing close to the huge canvas and staring and staring until my eyes lost focus and all the colors started to blur together. It really is a fascinating technique. If I ever decide to be a painter, I want to try to paint this way.
But, I digress. So, I love this musical. But! I had never seen the show. I wanted to see it live, but it's not performed all that often and I missed the few chances I had here and there. I never let myself watch the DVD because I wanted to see it live. And, so, this weekend, I got to do just that!

Sunday in the Park at Studio 54
This weekend, Tara and I schlepped up to NY to finally see this show. I loved it. I can't lie. I really did. I'm not saying that it was perfect. No show ever is, but it was really good. The male lead was really quite strong. I could take or leave the female lead, but she was pretty strong, too. I'm not the kind of girl that goes to NY and sees Phantom and says it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I'm just not like that. I err on the side of critical. However, this show held a little childlike fantasy for me. I had been looking forward to seeing this show for so long that there was no way that anything was going to ruin this for me.
Oh goodness, this post is getting really long and I have so much more to say. Perhaps, I will add another post later. For now, though, I will say this. I laughed... truly laughed... at scenes like the dog dialogue done by the lead and the scene with the "fake" soldier. I couldn't help but think of Jan when the line, "I don't want the other. I don't want the other either" came up. And, I cried. I cried exactly where I expected to... during We Should Have Belonged Together (I may have messed up that title). This has long been a tear-jerker for me. I feel so deeply the emotions written in this song. You really just have to listen to it, but basically she tells him he could tell her not to go, that he could tell her anything, any reason and she would stay because they belong together. But, he doesn't and she leaves. "We should have belonged together. But, we never belonged together." Aggg.... the agony. It kills me every time. I also cried somewhere I definitely did not expect to cry. I cried during Children and Art. An elderly grandmother of a character says, "There are really only two things worth leaving behind when you die. Children. and Art." For some reason, this totally killed me. Not entirely sure what that was all about. And, honestly, not something I want to think about. It's just too crushing.
So, yes... good stuff! Can't wait to debrief with Heather and watch the original!

Well, I also wanted to gush about my amazing friend Jeni, but I think that will have to wait because this is just entirely too long!

Big news!

I was hesitant to broadcast this out to the world, but I think it's solid enough to announce now. I also tried to tell a lot of people personally rather than having to find out via blog. I think I've done my due diligence, though, so I apologize if I missed you.

Without further ado, my news:
I got a new job! Yay! Oh, this is so big... I've been looking for a long time and putting a lot of time and energy and effort into the job search and it's finally paid off. Beginning July 16, I will be Publications Coordinator for the Center for the Arts at George Mason University. That basically means that I am the one that gets to organize and coordinate all of the people and companies that have to come together to get a piece of direct mail printed. Many factors seemed to come together to make me confident that this is the right position for me and that accepting the position was the right decision:
- I'll be making slightly more than I was at my last position plus better benefits.
- I'll have less responsibility!! (I know this sounds backwards, but I really had more responsibility and power at my last position than I was ready for.)
- I get to stay connected to the arts. I didn't really think that was going to happen so it's like a little bonus.
- The position will use my strengths and skills daily.
- I will get to be a part of a larger marketing team so that I can not only contribute, but also learn from people with more and different experience than me. Plus, I will be working directly with a very experienced arts marketer who is the head of the department.
- In addition to learning from my team, I will have the opportunity to do some more formal learning. I will be able to earn my MBA... wait for it... wait for it... FREEEEE! Going back to school kind of sounds awful to me right now, but I do love marketing and I want to do it well. Up to this point, a lot of my marketing experience has been "marketing by experiment" so I really do want to dig in and find out what all those scary business-types know that I don't. Corporate finance kind of makes me want to scoop my eyes out with spoons, but I can make it through if it will help my career.

So, that's that. A long job search is FINALLY over. I feel so relieved. I feel like I can finally start living my life again. I've felt VERY much in transition over the last six months or so, but now with a new job and a new place to live, I can see the dust starting to settle a little. That is uber-exciting! Yay God! Yay me!

Adventures from a government building

Oh! I wish I had thought of this two months ago! Why didn't I? Bummer. Well, I will just have to make up for it with this post. I will attempt to enlighten you about my brief stay in the world of the US Government with the few small vignettes remaining in my brain.

- Nothing is quite as endearing as the admin who thinks she shouldn't have to have updates run on her computer because she's "not lookin' at porno".

- Overheard in the office: ten minute conversation about tomato scare; debate about whether public official attending upcoming meeting is married, divorced or widowed and who was going to call him and ask; admin #2 narrating pictures of her new house for 14 different employees all day long.

- I'm pretty sure that I'm only here to fill this office so that they don't have to give it up to another department. seriously.

- There is a guy down the hall who keeps really good chocolates in a little box on his desk. I really want to stop and get one. I really don't want to have the compulsory conversation that would be necessary to procure one of said really good chocolates.
Update: I just walked by his office and he was out for lunch so I got the chocolate and avoided the conversation all in one! Yay!

Salad experiment #54

I frequently make a salad using the following method:
Open refrigerator. Grab food. Dump in bowl. Assess for completeness. If lacking, open cupboard, grab food and dump in bowl. Add dressing-like substance. Eat.

This is actually a surprisingly successful method. I have gotten rid of an awful lot of leftovers this way and it also proves to be pretty good at turning "I have nothing to eat" nights into "Darnit! Now I don't have an excuse to get takeout" nights.

Anyways, tonight's experiment:
spring mix
feta
raspberries
jalapeno stuffed olives
oil and white balsamic vinegar.

Turns out it's not bad! The raspberries are really a little too delicate to do them justice with the olives and jalapeno, but pretty tasty and filling nonetheless. Success, I say. Success.

Have you ever....

dreamed that you were up and getting ready for work? I did this morning and it ticked me off when I woke up and realized I had to get ready all over again!

Gee Willikers

It's been way too long... how can I possibly catch you up? We just got the internet thing worked out at the house tonight so it's time to jump back into the blogosphere. The last 10 days of my life, in my favorite form, of course:

• Moved into new house with lots of help from amazing friends!
• Interview at a nearby University for an arts marketing position
• Unpacked main living areas
• slept surrounded by boxes for one week before moving boxes to the other side of the room
  
• Started brand new small group co-led by my awesome boyfriend, Chris
• Joined an all-women's small group for the first time ever
• Met new roommate, Heather (who is pretty rad)
• Got called for another interview with a different company
• Started getting some actual projects at work (yay!)
• Got very very behind on job stuff and volunteer stuff
• Was reminded all over again of the many things I love about Chris
  

That's pretty much it. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming of vignettes and memoirs.

Thoughts upon a move

I have amazing friends. Last night, JoyAnna and I (and her mom) went to get some cabinets for in the dining room. The kitchen has pretty much zero counter space so we needed to nip that problem in the bud. Anyways, we were driving back into the District at 10 last night and realized that we needed help getting the heavy cabinets off the truck and into the house. So, I called two of my friends in the neighborhood and in 10 minutes there were three guys there to help us, one girl to offer moral support and an adorable doggy to take it all in. How awesome is that! Seriously... when I talk about living in community and having a family of friends I never expected, THIS is what I mean! Thank you guys so much! (And, um, feel free to drop over tomorrow morning for more fun!)

Things I will miss about my current apartment:
the HUGE windows -- I was soaking up the sunlight as I woke up this morning, knowing it was one of the last times I'd get to do that for a while.
the view -- I won't be able to see the top of the capitol dome from my basement cave nor will I be able to watch the fireworks from my bed!
living in an apt. building -- I know this is weird, but I feel more secure living in an apt. building. I like having lots of doors between me and the outside world.
my big pretty room -- It's so comforting and brown and wonderful.
the walk home -- I love our neighborhood and there is something wonderful about walking through it to get home each day. Plus, there's always the chance that I'll run into someone I know which is a super bonus.
my super-huge wonderful closet!
the crazy-cheap rent!

Things I will NOT miss about my current apartment:
bugs!
water damage! -- Seriously, I have this fear that I'm going to come home some day and all of my stuff is going to be submerged in ceiling pieces and water
inept building management
dragging the trash the whole way out to the back
the phantom that puts a sticky residue on all of our kitchen stuff --ok, I don't understand this one, but we get a weird, well, sticky residue, on anything that sits out in the kitchen. Very weird. Is it the gas?
crazy temperature changes beyond our control
psycho laundry room -- in the last month alone, we've dealt with broken machines, broken card system, a laundry caper, and an all-day full-house

Short thoughts

• Yesterday, it dawned on me that I hadn't been off the Hill in 7 days. For those of you not in DC, the Hill would be my neighborhood, Capitol Hill. It's amazing how happy I am here in my little neighborhood.... and how much of my life is within a 15-block radius of my house. However, 7 days is a little excessive. Chris (unknowingly) came to the rescue and dragged me to another quadrant last night. Ahh, the joy of the late-night coffee (or chai and tea as the case may be)!
• It is SO freaking cold in my office. My Diet Coke stays cold all day long... it thinks it's in a refrigerator. No, but seriously. I'm shivering. Is it not possible to turn the temperature up a few degrees? Seriously. It would even save some energy and money!
• I'm seriously missing some of my long-distance friends this week. Amy, Jeni, Jess, Jaime, Jan, Lisa, Gail --- I really miss you guys and hope to see you soon!

Closure

(Warning: Some of you will have no idea what this post is talking about and others will know exactly.)

The worst of all the catch-words: closure.

I resisted for seven years. More than seven years, actually. But, I had to do it. I had to take physical steps to move toward emotional wholeness in this area of my life. For seven years, I've carted around a box, marked with his initials, filled with the souvenirs of our relationship. Once I tried to burn the contents to no avail. But, tonight, I emptied it. I threw out the letters, the printed emails, the rose he brought me when we first met and the pictures. Well, most of the pictures. There's one still sitting on my desk. I'll throw it out before I go to bed tonight. I just needed a few minutes.

I just threw all the letters out. I didn't read them. It was SO tempting, but I didn't. He is (was?) a hugely important person in my life-story, but that chapter ended (several times!!) and so it's time to truly move on. Now that we've been out of communication for several months, I figured it was time. So, tonight, through some real, authentic tears, I got rid of every piece of him I was holding onto.

Sometimes, I wonder.... But, I can't. I have to just move on. And, claim closure.
(Also, to be clear- I have a great relationship with Chris and love him to death - this is a separate issue entirely.)

The Laundry Caper

So, earlier today, I posted about my laundry being snatched from my laundry room. Well, I thought I should update the situation. After a day of getting un-mad at the person that stole my laundry and figuring out exactly which items needed to be replaced this weekend and how I could purchase them the fastest, I got a surprise! I decided to stop by the laundry room on my way back in the building tonight and lo and behold, my laundry was all there in a big pile. I don't know what happened, but it was returned to me!
Yay! I don't have to buy new shirts and undies!!! yippee!!

Today's score

Getting up late: -1
Realizing someone stole 75% of my summer wardrobe from the laundry room: -10
Securing a roommate for the summer: +3
Not being able to reach Chris to vent about stolen laundry: -.5

10am subtotal: -8.5

Mornings

I once had a conversation with a girl whose identity I no longer remember, but I use her line all the time: "There are some things in life that I really wish I liked and have even tried to like, but I just don't." Here are some things I really wish I liked:
beer
running
being alone for long periods of time
mornings

Which brings me to today. Nope, I'm still not a morning person. Every time I have a reason to get up early in the morning, I secretly hope that it will be the catalyst sending me into a lifetime of loving mornings. There are very, very many reasons why I wish I loved mornings. If I liked mornings, I could:
work out in the morning
read the Bible in the morning
not look like a hobo when I get to work
always have time to make my bed
see the sunrise sometimes
consider teaching school as an actual occupational option
understand Chris' love for mornings
generally accomplish SO much more

But, alas, I do NOT love mornings. In fact, I had to be at work at 7:30 this morning and it wasn't until about now (9am) that I'm starting to feel coherent.

Well, back to work... until 4.... when I will leave and go to another job until God knows when. And, then it will pretty much be tomorrow.

Update: Rejection

So far the 2008 employment rejections have looked as such:

Silence: 2
Went with someone more junior: 2
You’re a really strong candidate, but…: 1

I’ll keep you updated as the plot thickens

Coming Soon!

Bike sharing! You thought I was excited about Zipcar?! Now, there's bike sharing. I never got a bike b/c it's a pain to store and I didn't know if I'd use it, yada yada. But, now there's going to be a bike sharing program. I'm pretty excited about this. It costs about $40/year and you can rent and return them at any of the stations in the city.
The only apparent flaw to date - all of the currently planned stations are in NW. Boo. I'm soon we can lobby to get one on the Hill soon.
Imagine the options:
Ride to the movie theater and then just leave the bike so you can go somewhere else afterward.
Ride to work, but then choose to metro home.
Ride to your kickball game on the mall. Park the bike. Get another one and ride to a friend's party. Park the bike. Jump on a bus to get home.
Oh the glory.

Today's goals

• Be productive at work. (starting immediately after I finish this post)
• Shake this incredible allergy attack. Seriously, this is one of the worst mornings I've had in a while. I feel like my throat is going to cinch up and choke me.
• Try not to flirt too much with the super-cute IT boy.
• Find out if I can attend classes at the office gym this week since it's "come on by even if you're not a member and you can work out for free" week.

We know they're most likely not from Antarctica

On the back of my package of adorable little gummy bears:

Product of U.S.A. or Mexico or Brazil or Czech Republic or China or Indonesia

Really? You can put the nutritional information on the back and convince me that it’s accurate, but you can’t narrow down the source of my snack to even 1 or 2 continents?

On the resume wagon

Well, I did it. I had been feeling guilty because I hadn't been sending out very many resumes in the last week or so. I resolved to change that tonight and just sent out 5! Add to that the one I sent yesterday to a friend for a recommendation and we're up to 6 in 24 hours!
Whoo-hoo!!

In other news, cross your fingers, send a prayer, cast a spell or whatever it is you do for us. We've applied for a house here on the hill and we need to both get approved for that house and for the management company here to let us out of our lease at the end of May.

I found the house on Craigslist on Saturday night. I wasn't even planning to look that night, but I did for some reason and I think it may have been a devine appointment. Sometimes God puts you in the right place at the right time with the right people. (2 points go to everyone who knows who I stole that from) Anyways, the house is great. I would have a semi-private space, which would make me mucho-happio, JoyAnna gets a house instead of an apartment and it's 4-5 blocks closer to the metro! yipppeee!

A lesson learned

But, first, the backstory:
Last week, on one of my first days at this temp job, I went down to the cafeteria on the bottom floor of the building. I successfully wound my way around the seeming labyrinth of hallways and promptly ended up at the cafeteria. I wasn’t so lucky on my way back. I jumped on the elevator, but when I got off, I realized that I had gotten on a different elevator than I had the first time so I swallowed my pride and rode back down to the ground floor, crossed the building through the lobby and found my way back to my office. Oh well, lesson learned and only a little bit of scraped up ego.
Until today…
Today, I realized that the “wrong” elevator that I got off last week actually comes out just steps from my office, which is even closer than the “right” one that I take every day. I guess I thought this building was bigger than it actually is. So much for my intuition.

Last moments of my 20's

In less than two hours, I will officially be 30 years old. How very crazy. And, I am totally ready. The twenties were great. So great. I got to see three new continents, got two degrees, and learned way more than I ever wanted to about relationships. I also gained a nephew and many friends and some work experience. I may be saying good-bye to being a twenty-something, but I am very much looking forward to being a thirty-something.
Good-bye 29! It's been fun!

Because what else would I do?

Just sitting here having a traditional tax-day dinner -- macaroni & cheese and jelly beans with diet coke. That is the traditional April 15th fare, isn't it?

Making up for lost time

Not a day goes by that I don't think of something I want to blog about. Unfortunately, many days go by when I don't actually get those thoughts out onto the screen, though. So, what follows is basically a brain dump of the things rolling through my head the last few days.

• This has been a month of reconnecting with long lost friends. First, thanks to the wonders of facebook, I was reconnected with my friend Jess from high school. I had looked for her on and off for the last 10 years or so and am SO thrilled to be back in contact with her. She's just one of those incredible women that you can't help but love and respect! Anyways, her blog is linked here as "long lost Jess". Very cool.
  
• Then, my friend Wynette from college randomly commented on my blog last week after being out of touch for a good 8 years or so. Turns out she's married with 4 kids! I guess a lot changes in 8 years! She's linked now, too. See "long lost Wynette".
  
• I happened to be flipping through some tv tonight and heard this on (of all places) Desperate Housewives. One of the women said, "Church is a place for answers, not questions". Oh my. What a horrible way to try to travel on a faith journey! With suppressed questions? I probably have more questions now than I had 10 years ago, but I also have more faith. I believe a church, or the global church, is not living up to its full potential if questions and doubts aren't welcomed with open arms. Just a thought.
• Pick-up line of the day I was walking Jones today and I thought I'd just stop and get some Chinese food, but when I got there, I was concerned about leaving Jones outside so I was stalling on the sidewalk. There was a parked car beside me with the window down, but I wasn't paying much attention. Then a guy inside the car said, "Excuse me." When I turned around he said, "Will you walk me later?" It took me a good 2-3 seconds to even realize what he was saying. And, then I just had to laugh. I didn't have the quick wit to rebut with a comment about a leash or picking up poop, but that's really probably for the best.
  

Thoughts walking from the Hirshhorn

Quitting my job was one of the best things I ever did. I feel more like myself now than I have for a long time. Today I was just so happy and content and I don't know... I just felt like "Hyla!" And, I was funny, too. I am a funny girl. fuu--nnny.

I love my temp job. The organization is great and does great stuff, has a great office environment and culture (can we say soft and natural light and live plants?) and I've really enjoyed what I've been doing thus far.

This city does have its charms. I can't deny it. The capitol, the monument, the memorials.... it was all beautiful to take in while I was walking to and from the Hirshhorn tonight. The capitol is almost welcoming at night. With no tourists staggering around, it's actually quite beautiful and serene.

Roller Coaster ride

A smattering of the events in my life over the last few days:
- temp job started
- found out that 6 week temp job will only be 2 weeks
- had culture shock of being under utilized
- same temp job unexpectedly ended
- turned down for one job (it went to someone more junior -- geesh)
- rent and bills due
- minor freakout
- frantically try to figure out how to make some money
- decided that tomorrow I need to go to TJs and ask if I can work there again
- got a new temp job offer that starts tomorrow (preempting my need to beg for my TJs job) and pays more than the original one that I lost

Geesh. That was a lot to handle in 4 days. But, through it all, God is good. And, it looks like I'll be able to pay rent for another month. I'll keep you updated!

I couldn't make this stuff up if I could tried

As we all know, I’m unemployed these days. So, the idea of making a few extra bucks is appealing. Yesterday, a friend of mine, came up to me and said, “Hey, would you be interested in doing some data entry to make some extra money? I randomly met this guy and he seems legit… just needs some help on a project.” I said, “Sure” and took the business card and called him on my way to my interview.

I should have trusted my instincts. When someone seems crazy on the phone, they probably are. He insisted he needed help right that minute and that I should meet him at the coffeehouse (he just happened to pick Ebenezers – thank god!) right after my interview. I thought, “well he sounds a little crazy, but I’ll meet with him, agree on terms, get some work to do at home and be on my way”.

As I was walking up to the coffeehouse, I saw him through the window and I just KNEW that was him. He was crazed scientist meets passionate activist meets unwise dresser. He had at least three bags with him and each of them had labels pasted on them with his contact info announcing “Big Reward if Returned!!”. Buttons and stickers declaring his political positioning and conspiricist leanings were dispersed among his attire and belongings. Yup, I’d hit the crazy jackpot. (bearing in mind of course, that I am largely afraid of the uber-political types that litter this city)

But, I couldn’t back out now. I had to at least introduce myself. I’m not entirely sure how this happened, but rather than him giving me work to do at home, he had me stay there with him and work on the project right there. I ended up not only doing data entry, but also editing a grant proposal for his left-leaning project (and by left-leaning, I mean buried deep in a well of left). After a battery of questions to try to pull me over to his conspiracy theory side, I eventually convinced him to let me take some work with me and brainstormed the whole way home how I could bow out gracefully.

So, this morning, I woke up early to finish the project and wash my hands of the whole thing. What was waiting for me in my inbox? An email telling me I was brilliant and that he really enjoyed working with me. AND… he was staying out in the suburbs today and didn’t know if he would be able to make it in today, but would I be interested in coming out and spending some time with him as he would “make it worth my while with both presents and presence”. He followed this with several questions about my personal interests and asked me if I wanted to go swing dancing some time. (Several friends stopped and said hi while I was working and two mentioned swing dancing.) Oh my oh my oh my.

Just too much

I feel immense amounts of guilt for not updating my blog in the wake of all the recent change in my life, but somehow the first week of unemployed life has not been the slow, leisurely life I was anticipating. Instead, the last four days have been an absolute blur of sending out resumes and job-related emails, meetings, preparing for interviews and filling out applications. Yes, filling out applications. I'm going to formalize my pet-peeve in an attempt to upgrade it to a grievance. If I submit a resume, cover letter, professional references and a color-coded file of blood relatives, do I really need to fill out a four page application, too? It would be one thing to fill something out asking for unique information, but the bulk of them ask for employment history, skills and references. Really? I just gave you my resume. Are you even going to read this? I understand that it is just part of procedure, but I find it irritating. I could have made a new connection or applied for another job in the time I spent filling out each application. Ok, end rant.

So, here's my current situation. The last day of my job at the Master Chorale was on Friday. I'm spending this week and part of next looking for a new job and then on Thursday, I'll be starting a temp job that could last about 6 weeks. This is good. This will give me a little time to find something.
I thought when I walked out of the office on Friday, I would feel incredibly free, but it turns out that I didn't really feel much of anything. In fact, I was wondering for much of last week if I made the right decision. However, this week, I'm feeling much better and I know I made the right decision and I'm sure I'll find something soon.
Well, I have two interviews tomorrow so I'd better go. I have plenty of website reading to do. (and, wardrobe planning!!)

Some things to ponder

It takes a great suit to run with the big dogs, but people in nonprofits change the world everyday wearing jeans. The lesson to be learned? If you want to change the world, get comfortable.

This morning the escalator opposite mine broke down with a full load of people on it. No one moved. They just stayed on the step they were already standing on. Some of them were only a few steps from the top. "They're stairs, people. Walk up them!"

People are funny

I love people
until they disappoint me or
display an annoying idiosyncrasy or
assert their own free will
when I don't want to grant it

I want people to need me
until my mood doesn't match their need or
their mood doesn't match my need or
I feel smothered
when I'm actually looking for fresh air

I want to care about people
until that means inconveniencing me or
making me feel things I don't want to feel or
making me think things I don't want to think
when all I really wanted was to hug someone

I want to be admired
until I have to live up to someone's expectation or
exceed their expectation or
impress someone new and all of a sudden
I'm all alone with my independence

I want to spin around with my arms spread wide
until I feel nothing at all and
I feel everything
all at the same time

I want to fall asleep on the diagonal using all of the pillows
I want to fall asleep feeling him right beside me
I want to wake up alone everyday
I never want to wake up alone again

Monday

Song of the Day: Locomotion (because it's stuck in my head)
Accomplishment of the Day: Getting up early enough to swim at Takoma this morning. (The pool there is awesome!)
Tattoo of the Day: The DC flag on the calf of the guy swimming next to me at the pool.
Pick-up Line of the Day: "Excuse me. Do you know when the next presidential debate is?" (Sadly, it worked.)

Today's goals

1 - Write letter of resignation. I still haven't given written notice so that needs to happen today.
2 - Start the job search balls rolling again. Send in applications for at least 2 positions.
3 - Fight restlessness. I am very anxious for spring to be here! I want to just go out and hang out on the mall or walk around until I'm so tired I have to either drag myself home or find a bus to carry my tired carcass home. But, alas, it is not warm enough for that yet.
4 - Clean kitchen.
5 - Shake my fist at Target for being so bloody inconvenient for me to get to without a car.

Lots of news

This week has been nothing if not eventful! I had a good interview for a job here in DC (well, sort of) on Monday. Hopefully, I should hear about that this coming week.
Then, on Wednesday, I closed the door on the gig in California. I had been negotiating a position there and it just wasn't shaping up to be the opportunity I needed. So, I closed that off. That was hard. I was sitting at my desk smiling and crying all at the same time. I am so happy to be here with so many of my friends, my church and of course, Chris. But, I also LOVE San Francisco and it's hard to imagine living my whole life without at least a few more years there. Apparently, now is not the time, though. I am happy to have some certainty... I know I'm staying here... I'm not moving anywhere right now.
And, today. Well, I did something that many would find crazy, but I needed to do it. I resigned my position today, effective mid-March. It not only frees me from something I needed to get away from, but it also lights the necessary fire under my butt to find a new position. But, like I said, perhaps I'll get the job I interviewed for this week.
Well, I'm off. Gail will be landing in DC soon for our annual weekend extravaganza! Yay!

Weird tune stuck in my head

Today, I have this bizarro tune stuck in my head. And, tonight, I realized what it is. It's the tune from a music box my grandmother had when I was a child. I used to play it every time I went to visit. There was something refreshingly familiar and nostalgic about having that song in my brain. Nice.

Waiting for Godot

I was sitting here tonight, in the middle of a mountain of folded laundry, waiting for a specific email and all of a sudden I felt like that was a microcosm of my whole life. Lately, I've been feeling like I'm continually waiting for something. I've been waiting to see if I am indeed moving to California. I've been waiting on this job prospect or that one. I was waiting for a while to "actually" be dating Chris. And, then tonight, I was waiting for the proposal to show up in my inbox. All the while, I'm surrounded by clean, folded laundry... real life... my now life.

To date, I haven't allowed myself to start going through my stuff in preparation for a move or start cleaning out my desk or to fall in love. But, at some point, I have to stop waiting and go on living -- forward.

The sky is falling!!

Or, at least my ceiling, apparently... this is what I came home to tonight after the orchestra!

A new kitchen!!

I came out into the kitchen this morning and there was a brand new stainless steel refrigerator and stove and the cabinets had been ripped out to be replaced with new ones. And, oddly, the blue and green stripes were now horizontal instead of vertical... weird. I thought, "Sweet! A new kitchen!"

And, then I woke up.

Problem!

Ok, folks, we've got a problem. Valentine's Day. I've never been non-single for Valentine's Day... well, at least not non-single and non-long-distance. But, we haven't been dating very long. So, what to do, what to do. I don't feel like the kind of girl that celebrates Valentine's Day, but I think the boy may feel differently. How to not do too much, not do too little!!??? I would be happy making some yummy soup and chatting away, but I feel like that's a little under the bar. Oh, what to do, what to do.
Suggestions, anyone?

Notes from the desert

Hello from Maricopa, Arizona! I'm spending a few days with the family out in the desert. What a great little getaway! I didn't spend the holidays with any family this year so it's good to get out here and catch up. I don't get a ton of time with my brother Scott and sis-in-law, Caryl, but I absolutely adore them and my time with them is so cherished! Last night, I took them out for a yummy dinner (with several wine courses, of course) and fabulous conversation. It was awesome to just have some good heart-to-heart time with two of my favorite people!
And, my nephew, Johnny has been SO fun. The last time I saw him, he was pretty shy, but this time, he hangs out with me, curls up in my lap and talks my ear off! It's pretty cool.
In other news, my dad is still breathing. Under the circumstances, I'll consider that a success!

Double Mountain Day

I feel like I climbed two mountains today!
This morning, I swam a 500 for the first time. That felt amazing! Just to know I can push my body and accomplishing more physically is so great. For so many years, I was the complete opposite of an athlete, but now I am finally at a place where I'm actually accomplishing something in a workout. I've come a long way baby.

Mountain 2: I conquered the ftp mystery and got everything uploaded on the website. That may not sound like much, but being that I had to figure it out all on my own and that 24 hours ago, I couldn't get into the ftp at all, it is giant! I actually jumped up and down and clapped to celebrate when I finished. And, I still got home by 8:30... nice!

Reflections on 2007

I've finally stopped trying to make New Year's resolutions as I tend to only disappoint myself partway through the year. So, instead, I will take some of my first waking moments in 2008 to reflect on how I changed and grew in 2007. (Wow, I still can't quite believe it's over.) Around Christmas, I started really thinking about what of significance happened in 2007 and a few things popped into my mind.
Perhaps the most drastic change was professionally. I'm still in the same position I was at the beginning of 2007, but I have grown leaps and bounds in my professional life. I'm not entirely sure if I can describe this change in words. I just have such a greater understanding of marketing than I had last year as well as experience working at every level in a small non-profit to implement it. I'm also learning, gradually, how to successfully operate in the professional world -- how to make valuable connections with people in the professional realm, how to negotiate business and bring people into your circle to both advance your mission and theirs. Seemingly basic skills, but I can feel how invaluable they will be to me for a lifetime.
I also had the opportunity to take a non-profit gala-esque event from start to finish. Although it wasn't quite as successful as I had first hoped, I'm proud of working through all of the planning, negotiation and execution of that event. Event planning is labor intensive, but I really enjoy it.
On a more personal note, though, I finally started being aggressive about paying down my debts. It feels so good to be moving toward greater fiscal responsibility.
My greatest achievement this year, though, is somewhat intangible, but was a great breakthrough for me. I finally figured out how to spend time with my family (esp. at home in PA) in a way that is enjoyable and meaningful without the frustrating feeling that I don't belong. I realized that when I go to spend time with my family, I just have to drop my usual life and be entirely in the moment. The last few times I've seen my parents and my brother (& his family), it's been really great. When I allow myself to just be a part of their life and realize that relationship is so much more about them than about me, it's suddenly a great time of discovering them in new and deeper ways and not at all about me maintaining whatever level of accomplishment, distance or "hipness" I fancy myself to have. My times with my family this year have been some of the most meaningful times of my life.
So, Happy New Year! Here's to all we will learn and experience in 2008!

Caulking successful!

I decided to tackle a home improvement project. Some of the caulking in our bathtub was gross and mildewy and I just couldn't take it anymore. So, I spent Thursday evening scraping out much of the old caulking and replaced it with new, clean caulking the next morning. And, now, I don't have to avoid touching certain parts of our tub. Yay! Successful home improvement project! See before and after below.

Conversation with Target Employee

Setting: Me holding a tube of caulk in my hand in the aisle where I found it at Target

Me: Excuse me, do you know if you carry caulk guns?
Target Employee (TE): (blank stare)
Me: Well, this is caulk, but in order to use it, you have to put it in a caulk gun. (I make the appropriate gesture here to try to trigger his mind.)
TE: (blank stare)
Me: You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?
TE: No, no I don't.
Me: Never mind.

Seriously. I know we're in a city and all, but still.

A journey begins

I woke up with this quote reverberating in my head.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step"

Christmas Eve

My mind is full of a bunch of things, but I'll try to keep this concise. I just came back from a Christmas Eve service at my cousin's church out in McLean. I'm not sure what denomination the church is, but it was much more liturgical and "high church" than I am used to. There were some things I didn't understand (like the procession of the cross), some things I understood, but hadn't seen in a while (an actual introit), and some things that were very familiar to me (lots of Christmas hymns). Regardless of familiarity and my comfort level with certain practices I see as slightly ritualistic, it was a great time to reflect and collect my thoughts about Christmas and Jesus.

Then, on the way home, I heard a song that I think about all year long, but I only ever hear it at Christmastime. It's called "A Strange Way to Save the World". Just after that, I drove back into sight of the city and realized this is the first Christmas I've ever spent in the city -- any city.

Yeah, I'm ready for Christmas now.

Is today longer?

Now that we've passed the Equinox, I'm enjoying the extended daylight.

Yes. I'm joking.

Weekend of Demarcation

It seems as though this weekend is a line of demarcation in my life... in little ways and in big ways. This weekend marks the end of work in 2007. Now that work is officially over, it seems to mark the beginning of the holidays for me. But on a sadder, and more significant, note, it marks the end of Amy and Hyla: the DC years. Today was the last day of just being there for the normal, mundane bits of "doing life" on a regular basis. We spent most of the day together, just hanging out, carrying boxes to her car, making dinner, watching a movie, chatting about boys -- some of our favorite things. But, then, inevitably, the end came and she had to leave to pick up Luke. Tomorrow, she and Luke will set out on a cross-continental journey (doesn't that sound schmancy?) and end up in a place she will soon call home.

I cried. I cried a little this morning. I cried when we actually said goodbye tonight. I cried on the couch after she left. Fortunately, Jones (Jonathan's dog that I'm watching this week) reached over with an understanding paw at the appropriate moments. I'm not sure why this is so emotional for me. I know people move... especially in DC, it's just a hazard of life. People's lives change. My friendships evolve and change all the time. I've known it was coming for months. And, yet, it has me all choked up.

So today is the line of demarcation that has my dear friend Amy living in my neighborhood, doing her DC life on one side of it and her life with Luke on the west coast on the other side. And, of course, I wish her only the very best.

I sense another line of demarcation this weekend, but I don't want to jinx it so I'll keep that to myself for now. Stay tuned for more! (I've been formulating my new year's eve post for a few weeks now in my head.)

Time to regroup

Because we have such a crazy December (and fall) at work, we get the week off between Christmas and New Year's each year. That week off starts right now! I usually have a grand plan, a detailed itinerary or a to-do list from here to Montana. Not this year, though. I have 10 days ahead of me with almost no plan at all. I'll have to say goodbye to Amy within the next 48 hours. Not incredibly excited about that. But, other than that, it should be a good, relaxing, play-it-by-ear kind of week. I'm hoping to spend a little time with Chris, build up my tights repertoire and hit the pool a lot. Everything else is negotiable. On to vacation!

Random day off

I decided to take today off for several reasons. This week is a seven day week for us - 1 concert day + 5 weekdays + 1 concert day -- voila! 7 day week. So, I decided to take a day off in the middle to give me a little break. It was also to spend a little extra time with Amy today before she leaves and time runs out. We went for a final popping man visit down on Hains Point, spent some quality time on the couch with bbq chicken and a movie and then went and worked off the chicken in the pool. I'm gonna miss that girl!

Well, back to the grindstone tomorrow.

Miracle needed

I need a job miracle. It is SO time for me to leave my position and I am really excited to use all that I've learned at MCW at some new occupational adventure. Anyways, I'm trying to be diligent and working on it, but I could use a little bit of miracle, too. I really want to try to stay in DC, but if the only (and best) opportunity I have is in a far away land, then it would be really hard to turn that down.

Also, it's incredibly, annoyingly cold here today.

Thoughts from a Saturday

As you may have guessed from my lack of posting, it's been a little crazy lately. Just a busy, busy time for my job, but the important thing is I'm here now!
Today was a real whirlwind of a day, but a great one! I got a real tree this morning for the first time ever. It's just a little chubby one, but it smells great and I love it! (Thanks to Chris for carrying it the whole way home!)
Then, after a frenzy of Christmas shopping and wrapping, I got to hear Jane Monheit in concert tonight. She's a fun performer and makes you feel like you're sitting in her living room. I want to go hear her again after she's had her baby... you could kind of get the idea that she was a little more reserved than she normally would. Anyways, that was great! I was fortunate to get a ticket to this sold-out show.
One final thought thanks to some kids on the metro:
"Why are we going back to Gallery Place? It's raining!"
"To spend time together. Because that's what families do.... spend time together."

Novel.

What a weekend!

I had a great weekend! I went to PA and killed about 3 birds with one stone. Bird 1: I got to see my parents for a little while... not enough, but still nice. It's just good to get mom-hugs sometimes.
Bird 2: We (including my brother Grant) went to my grandmother's and got her to show us the pocketwatch of family lore. Grant and I didn't know it existed until earlier this year. Apparently, my grandma and grandfather found it in a trunk in the basement of a house they bought something like 56 years ago. The trunk had civil war uniforms in it, some medals (not from the civil war, though, I don't think) and a very old pocketwatch. I believe the date on it is something like 1842. Anyways, she held onto it and showed it to us. It seems to be in pretty good condition and the intricate engraving on it is just incredible. The key is still attached and there is a 32nd degree mason eagle fob on it, too. Anyways, it's pretty cool. Check it out.
Bird 3: I took Grant to the Steelers-Browns game as a birthday present. It was his first Steelers game. I think he really loved it! It was an exciting game and a ton of fun to watch. It felt really good to be able to do something special for him like that.

Pictures of facepaint and the watch on flickr

Day 1 of Ridiculously Good Health Month

went fairly well. Good swim. Good food. yay.

An acquired skill?

I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's a different social culture or my comfort level in this city or pure dumb luck, but I had three good conversations with guys just sitting at bars today. Ok, that sounds raunchy. Nothing flirty or anything like that. Just random conversations in contrast to eating or watching the game alone. It makes me feel more like Hyla-- the girl who loves people and loves listening to them and discovering new ones.
Maybe there's just something about this city that "fits" me.

DC ballot box

Remember that picture I said I wished I had taken? Well, I got it. How great is this!

Wow.

That's the best word I can use right now. Here's a smattering of the thoughts bouncing of the walls of my brain.
- I cannot explain the feeling I get every time I'm in San Francisco. I only lived here for 6 months and I was so sick for half of it I couldn't even enjoy it. Yet, I always feel like I belong here. Maybe saying it feels like home is too dramatic, but it does seem to fit me.
- I'm going through a high-communication period with God. This is good. But, it's a little scary, too. I'm not ready to make any more big decisions or anything... who knows what will come of this.
- I was oddly emotional on the trip out here... what's up with that? I cried at Evan Almighty! Are you serious??? weird

Random people meetings, vol.2

So, my plan of recording every person I ran into didn't last long. However, today I ran into Amy (blonde Amy, for those of you that know of my long list of Amys) on the mall. I hadn't seen her in a long time! That was fun! I think it may be time to start coming out of my hole. I spent a casual afternoon with Jenn and it was great. I haven't done that in so long. I've been so focused on decompressing and now, I think I'm recovered. Time to come back out of my hole! yay!

I must start carrying my camera at all times!

Two funny things I wish I had pictures of from this week:
-- A plain white sticker stuck on a trash can in Georgetown: "DC Ballot Box (Your vote goes here)"

-- A man dragging two large suitcases behind him.
In giant letters on suitcase #1: MINE.
In giant letters on suitcase #2: NOT YOURS!

Today's score

Oversleeping the pool: -1
Getting to sleep in: +1
Finding money on the sidewalk: +2
A relatively quiet day at work: +1

So far: +3

Oh how I love thee, pool

I just had a fabulous swim in which I swam two separate 250's. Yay! I think that was the first time I swam a 250. I'm proud of myself. I shall do that again tomorrow. Yippee!!

Adventures in Oregon

So, I had this GRAND plan for Sunday. I was going to get up early and drive out to the coast to watch the sun come up (or probably, finish coming up) and then come back to watch the Steelers game followed by a few winery tastings and then the wedding. Well, it didn't quite work out that way. Kurt and I left the hotel at 7am to drive out to the coast. At approximately 7:02, we got a flat tire. (See photo illustrations below.)

At least we laughed a lot about it. So, we changed a tire and went out for breakfast instead. Not quite the ocean, but oh well.
I didn't make it to the ocean or the wineries, but I did make it to Jonathan's wedding. Congrats guys!! I have a few pics on flickr. (Warning: they're not so great)

Worst fortune EVER!

Well, I've arrived in Oregon (officially, my 40th state... I counted today... I was off, I guess.) Anyways, I decided to chill in my hotel tonight with some chinese take-out... a mistake in a small town... when will I learn?? Anyways, I got the worst fortune, EVER:
You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily.
What!?! That's horrible. Anyways, tomorrow, Jonathan gets married! Yay!

Stew bumper

I feel like I've had the depressing post up for too long so this is intended to bump it down on the page. I think of brilliant things to write every day and then every night when I actually have time, I forget what that brilliance was. More soon.